1
00:01:40,398 --> 00:01:43,322
My dear brother, Theo

2
00:01:43,323 --> 00:01:46,123
your brother has preached
for the first time.

3
00:01:46,124 --> 00:01:49,424
Last Sunday, in God's dwelling
of which is written

4
00:01:49,425 --> 00:01:51,825
in this place I give peace,

5
00:01:51,826 --> 00:01:54,326
your brother was indeed deeply moved,

6
00:01:54,327 --> 00:01:57,227
when he stood at the foot of the pulpit

7
00:01:57,228 --> 00:01:59,528
and bowed his head and prayed:

8
00:01:59,529 --> 00:02:03,029
Father, in thy name be our beginning.

9
00:02:04,964 --> 00:02:08,064
I am a stranger on the earth.

10
00:02:08,065 --> 00:02:11,263
Hide not thy commandments from me.

11
00:02:11,264 --> 00:02:14,690
It is an old belief
and it is a good belief

12
00:02:14,691 --> 00:02:17,496
that our life is a pilgrim's progress.

13
00:02:17,497 --> 00:02:21,097
We are pilgrims on the earth
and strangers.

14
00:02:21,098 --> 00:02:24,998
We come from afar and we are going far.

15
00:02:24,999 --> 00:02:27,199
The journey of our life

16
00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:30,200
goes from the loving breast
of our mother on earth

17
00:02:30,208 --> 00:02:33,454
to the arms of our Father in heaven.

18
00:02:33,455 --> 00:02:35,874
Everything on earth changes.

19
00:02:35,909 --> 00:02:38,394
We have no abiding city here.

20
00:02:38,429 --> 00:02:43,585
It is God's will that we should part
with what is dearest on earth.

21
00:02:43,620 --> 00:02:46,908
We ourselves change in many respects.

22
00:02:46,943 --> 00:02:49,021
We are not what we once were.

23
00:02:49,056 --> 00:02:51,956
We shall not remain what we are now.

24
00:02:51,991 --> 00:02:56,179
The face that once had
the early dew of the morning

25
00:02:56,214 --> 00:02:58,003
gets its wrinkles.

26
00:02:58,038 --> 00:03:00,282
The eyes speak of sadness.

27
00:03:00,317 --> 00:03:03,505
The hair turns grey or we lose it.

28
00:03:03,540 --> 00:03:06,938
Ah indeed, we only pass through the earth.

29
00:03:06,973 --> 00:03:09,513
We only pass through life.

30
00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:13,641
I once saw a very beautiful picture.

31
00:03:13,676 --> 00:03:16,136
It was a landscape at evening.

32
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:22,023
Through the landscape, a road leads
to a high mountain far, far away.

33
00:03:22,773 --> 00:03:24,397
On the top of that mountain is a city

34
00:03:24,432 --> 00:03:27,182
whereon the setting sun casts a glory.

35
00:03:27,183 --> 00:03:29,875
On the road walks a pilgrim.

36
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:33,090
He has been walking
for a good, long while already

37
00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:35,113
and he is very tired.

38
00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:38,688
And now, he meets a woman
or a figure in black.

39
00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:42,512
That angel of God has been placed there

40
00:03:42,547 --> 00:03:45,593
to encourage the pilgrims and
to answer their questions.

41
00:03:45,628 --> 00:03:47,209
And the pilgrim asks her:

42
00:03:47,244 --> 00:03:50,176
"Does the road then go uphill all the way?"

43
00:03:50,211 --> 00:03:54,647
And the answer is: "Yes to the very end".

44
00:03:54,682 --> 00:03:56,518
And he asks again:

45
00:03:56,553 --> 00:03:59,453
"And, will the journey take all day long?"

46
00:03:59,488 --> 00:04:04,261
And the answer is:
"From morn till night, my friend".

47
00:04:04,296 --> 00:04:07,998
Has not man a strife on earth?

48
00:04:11,933 --> 00:04:15,348
And when each of us goes back
to the daily things and daily duties,

49
00:04:15,383 --> 00:04:19,332
let us not forget that things
are not what they seem.

50
00:04:19,367 --> 00:04:24,457
But God, by the things of daily life
teacheth us higher things.

51
00:04:25,192 --> 00:04:28,177
That our life is a pilgrim's progress,

52
00:04:28,212 --> 00:04:30,410
and that we are strangers on the earth.

53
00:04:30,445 --> 00:04:35,236
But that we have a God and Father
who preserveth strangers,

54
00:04:35,671 --> 00:04:39,136
and that we are all brethren.

55
00:04:39,171 --> 00:04:40,872
Amen.

56
00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:50,578
Dear Theo,

57
00:04:50,713 --> 00:04:54,081
there are some intriguing things
in other countries.

58
00:04:54,516 --> 00:04:57,617
But last Sunday, I walked alone

59
00:04:57,652 --> 00:04:59,472
and I thought how good it was

60
00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:02,072
to feel the Dutch soil under my feet again.

61
00:05:02,107 --> 00:05:04,784
I recall all our childhood memories.

62
00:05:04,819 --> 00:05:09,599
How often we walked with father
in those last days of February,

63
00:05:09,634 --> 00:05:11,278
and heard the lark of the black fields;

64
00:05:11,313 --> 00:05:14,918
the radiant blue sky
with the white clouds over it;

65
00:05:14,953 --> 00:05:17,813
and then the stony path
with the beech trees.

66
00:05:17,848 --> 00:05:19,476
Who knows...

67
00:05:19,511 --> 00:05:22,557
We may walk together
near the sea sometime.

68
00:05:22,592 --> 00:05:26,444
We must always remain good friends.

69
00:05:26,479 --> 00:05:30,723
Let us have as few secrets
as possible from each other.

70
00:05:30,758 --> 00:05:34,354
Brothers should not have any.

71
00:05:34,389 --> 00:05:38,201
Try to be patient and gentle,

72
00:05:38,236 --> 00:05:40,801
and do not mind being eccentric.

73
00:05:40,836 --> 00:05:45,577
It is good to love flowers and ivy
and fir trees and hawthorn hedges.

74
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:47,936
They have been with us
from the very beginning.

75
00:05:48,771 --> 00:05:53,040
My conscience tells me that there is
something greater in the future,

76
00:05:53,075 --> 00:05:55,367
that we're not what other people are.

77
00:05:55,402 --> 00:05:57,871
You know what I desire to be?

78
00:05:57,906 --> 00:06:00,726
If I may become a clergyman
and fill the position

79
00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:03,254
so that my work resembles
that of our father,

80
00:06:03,289 --> 00:06:06,390
then, I shall thank God.

81
00:06:07,825 --> 00:06:10,989
Our aim must be to find
a steady profession

82
00:06:11,024 --> 00:06:13,469
to which we can devote
ourselves entirely.

83
00:06:13,904 --> 00:06:18,276
And I also believe, that we especially
must have the end in mind;

84
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:22,194
and that the victory achieved after
a whole life of work and effort,

85
00:06:22,229 --> 00:06:24,370
will be better than one gain sooner.

86
00:06:25,205 --> 00:06:28,697
I must become a good clergyman
who has something to say

87
00:06:28,732 --> 00:06:31,456
that is right, and maybe of use
in the world.

88
00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:34,944
If one keeps on loving faithfully,

89
00:06:34,979 --> 00:06:39,072
one will gradually get more light
and grow stronger.

90
00:06:41,107 --> 00:06:45,638
Only if I could, I should like
to skip a few years.

91
00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:48,631
I think one only gets some peace

92
00:06:48,666 --> 00:06:50,966
after one has accomplished something.

93
00:06:51,901 --> 00:06:56,694
When I think of the future,
of almost invincible difficulties;

94
00:06:56,729 --> 00:06:59,172
when I think of the many watching me

95
00:06:59,207 --> 00:07:02,211
who will know where the fault is
if I do not succeed;

96
00:07:03,046 --> 00:07:07,099
when I think of all this,
of all the difficulties and cares

97
00:07:07,134 --> 00:07:09,506
that do not lessen
as we advance in life;

98
00:07:10,041 --> 00:07:14,161
then I wish I  were far away
from everything.

99
00:07:14,896 --> 00:07:18,409
Yet, I shall reach the aim
I am striving for.

100
00:07:18,444 --> 00:07:22,400
And if God wills it, find favour
in the eyes of some I love,

101
00:07:22,435 --> 00:07:24,576
and of those who will come after me.

102
00:07:26,011 --> 00:07:27,783
The days fly by.

103
00:07:27,818 --> 00:07:29,696
I'm four years older than you are

104
00:07:29,731 --> 00:07:32,910
and probably they seem to go
more swiftly to me than to you.

105
00:07:32,945 --> 00:07:35,039
But I fight against it
by stretching them a little

106
00:07:35,374 --> 00:07:37,038
in the morning and evening.

107
00:07:37,573 --> 00:07:39,038
Now and then, when I am writing,

108
00:07:39,073 --> 00:07:41,333
I instinctively make a little drawing.

109
00:07:41,368 --> 00:07:42,629
It is nothing special.

110
00:07:42,664 --> 00:07:44,997
But, I see it all so vividly before me.

111
00:07:53,998 --> 00:07:55,390
Dear Theo,

112
00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:58,648
at present I'm collecting
Latin and Greek exercises,

113
00:07:58,683 --> 00:08:01,704
and all kinds of writings
about history and religion.

114
00:08:02,239 --> 00:08:05,064
I must keep courage with God's help.

115
00:08:05,099 --> 00:08:07,688
But, Greek lessons in the heart of
Amsterdam

116
00:08:07,723 --> 00:08:09,825
on a very close and sultry
summer afternoon,

117
00:08:09,860 --> 00:08:12,847
with the feeling that many difficult
examinations await you,

118
00:08:12,882 --> 00:08:17,553
I can tell you, they make one feel more
oppressed than the Brabant cornfields

119
00:08:18,088 --> 00:08:20,902
which are beautiful on such a day.

120
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:28,448
I feel it necessary to work
as hard as I can.

121
00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:31,516
The days are full of evil.

122
00:08:31,551 --> 00:08:34,915
One must arm oneself
and try to be filled

123
00:08:34,950 --> 00:08:36,578
with as much goodness as possible

124
00:08:36,613 --> 00:08:39,234
in order to be prepared
and be able to resist.

125
00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:42,682
As you know, it is not a
small undertaking,

126
00:08:42,717 --> 00:08:45,098
and we do not know the result.

127
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:49,529
But at all events, I will try
to fight the good fight.

128
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:53,984
What is the use of a beautiful body?

129
00:08:54,019 --> 00:08:55,401
Animals have it too.

130
00:08:55,436 --> 00:08:57,071
Perhaps, even more than men.

131
00:08:57,306 --> 00:09:00,207
But the soul, as it lives in the people,

132
00:09:00,242 --> 00:09:01,926
that's what animals never have.

133
00:09:01,961 --> 00:09:05,949
Is not life given us to become
richer in spirit?

134
00:09:05,984 --> 00:09:09,653
One sees so many who live
in horror and misery.

135
00:09:09,688 --> 00:09:12,077
But, in the evening one sees

136
00:09:12,112 --> 00:09:14,900
all kinds of black figures
wandering about,

137
00:09:14,935 --> 00:09:17,637
in whom the terror of the night
is personified.

138
00:09:17,672 --> 00:09:20,436
And, whose misery one must class
among the things

139
00:09:20,471 --> 00:09:22,787
that have no name in any language.

140
00:09:23,822 --> 00:09:25,882
The only thing I want to do

141
00:09:25,917 --> 00:09:28,426
is give peace to poor creatures

142
00:09:28,461 --> 00:09:32,081
and reconcile them to their existence
here on earth.

143
00:10:16,816 --> 00:10:18,342
Dear Theo,

144
00:10:18,643 --> 00:10:23,043
the Flemish training school does not
require that you quite finish the course

145
00:10:23,077 --> 00:10:25,536
before you can apply for a place
as an evangelist.

146
00:10:25,571 --> 00:10:29,568
The three-month probation demanded
of me have almost passed.

147
00:10:30,203 --> 00:10:34,807
Some Paul was in Arabia for three years
before he began to preach.

148
00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:37,798
If I could work quietly
for about three years,

149
00:10:37,999 --> 00:10:39,399
always learning and observing,

150
00:10:39,633 --> 00:10:42,845
then I should not come back
without having something to say

151
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,022
that was really worth hearing.

152
00:10:45,057 --> 00:10:47,205
I say this in all humility,

153
00:10:47,140 --> 00:10:49,181
and yet, with confidence.

154
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:52,316
I enclose a hasty little sketch.

155
00:10:52,751 --> 00:10:55,133
I should like to begin making
rough sketches

156
00:10:55,168 --> 00:10:57,699
of some of the many things
that I meet on my way.

157
00:10:57,734 --> 00:11:01,087
But, as it would probably keep me
from my real work,

158
00:11:00,622 --> 00:11:02,899
it's better not to start.

159
00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:11,224
I visited the cemetery here.

160
00:11:12,259 --> 00:11:15,408
In front of it is a little wood
where it is very peaceful,

161
00:11:15,443 --> 00:11:19,711
especially when the sun shines
through the leaves in the evening.

162
00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:24,542
There are many beatiful graves
and all kinds of evergreens,

163
00:11:24,577 --> 00:11:26,734
and roses and forget-me-nots.

164
00:11:31,469 --> 00:11:34,377
I walked on, past a forest
and took a side path

165
00:11:34,412 --> 00:11:37,600
leading to a little, old
ivy-covered church,

166
00:11:38,635 --> 00:11:41,059
at the side of the sunken road

167
00:11:41,060 --> 00:11:44,060
with twisted and gnarled stumps
and tree roots.

168
00:11:43,894 --> 00:11:46,135
Fantastic!

169
00:11:46,470 --> 00:11:50,850
Like those Albrecht D�rer etched
in "Ritter, Tod und Teufel"
(Knight, Death and the Devil).

170
00:11:50,885 --> 00:11:53,123
How rich art is!

171
00:11:53,158 --> 00:11:55,417
If only one can remember
what one has seen,

172
00:11:55,452 --> 00:11:59,769
one is never without food for thought,
or truly lonely.

173
00:11:59,804 --> 00:12:01,881
Never alone.

174
00:12:05,483 --> 00:12:06,933
My dear brother,

175
00:12:07,568 --> 00:12:10,350
the three months probation
have elapsed.

176
00:12:10,385 --> 00:12:14,741
They have told me that I cannot attend
the school on the same conditions

177
00:12:14,876 --> 00:12:16,972
as the native Flemish peoples.

178
00:12:17,007 --> 00:12:20,316
It would not be easy to live
without faith in God.

179
00:12:20,351 --> 00:12:24,004
Without it, one would lose
one's courage.

180
00:12:38,911 --> 00:12:40,798
Dear Theo,

181
00:12:41,033 --> 00:12:46,686
I'm sure you realise that here,
in the Borinage, there are no pictures.

182
00:12:46,921 --> 00:12:50,650
If with God's blessing, I get a
permanent appointment here,

183
00:12:50,685 --> 00:12:52,913
I shall be very very happy.

184
00:12:53,448 --> 00:12:56,569
Often I draw far into the night

185
00:12:56,604 --> 00:13:01,344
to keep some souvenir, and to strengthen
the thoughts raised involuntarily

186
00:13:01,479 --> 00:13:03,488
by the aspects of things here.

187
00:13:03,523 --> 00:13:07,543
Like everyone else, I feel the need
of family and friendship,

188
00:13:07,978 --> 00:13:10,874
of affection, a friendly intercourse.

189
00:13:11,309 --> 00:13:14,501
I'm not made of stone or iron.

190
00:13:14,536 --> 00:13:18,293
So, I cannot miss these things without
being conscious of a void,

191
00:13:18,328 --> 00:13:19,997
and feeling a lack of something.

192
00:13:20,532 --> 00:13:23,620
Involuntarily, I have become,
more or less,

193
00:13:23,655 --> 00:13:26,939
a kind of impossible and suspect
personage in the family.

194
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:31,802
So, how could I in any way
be of any use to anybody?

195
00:13:31,837 --> 00:13:33,810
Therefore, above all,

196
00:13:34,011 --> 00:13:36,811
I think the best and the most
reasonable thing for me to do

197
00:13:36,845 --> 00:13:39,641
is to go away and keep
a convenient distance,

198
00:13:39,676 --> 00:13:42,441
so that I cease to exist
for all of you.

199
00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:47,430
Most of the miners are thin and
pale from fever.

200
00:13:47,465 --> 00:13:49,856
They look tired and emaciated,

201
00:13:49,091 --> 00:13:52,621
weather-beaten and aged
before their time.

202
00:13:53,056 --> 00:13:55,039
Most of them cannot read.

203
00:13:55,489 --> 00:14:00,210
But at the same time, are intelligent
and quick at their different works.

204
00:14:00,421 --> 00:14:03,565
Brave and frank,
with melancholy deep-set eyes.

205
00:14:03,933 --> 00:14:06,853
They have an innate, deep-rooted hatred

206
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:10,108
and a strong mistrust of anyone
who is domineering.

207
00:14:10,843 --> 00:14:15,355
The villages here look desolate
and dead, and forsaken.

208
00:14:15,466 --> 00:14:19,282
Life goes on underground
instead of above.

209
00:14:22,634 --> 00:14:27,242
As moulting time, when they change
their feathers, is for birds

210
00:14:27,627 --> 00:14:32,873
so adversity or misfortune is the
difficult time for us human beings.

211
00:14:32,978 --> 00:14:37,532
One can stay in it.
One can also emerge renewed.

212
00:14:36,066 --> 00:14:40,784
But anyhow, it must not be done
in public.

213
00:14:41,019 --> 00:14:44,671
Therefore, the only thing to do
is to hide oneself.

214
00:14:44,006 --> 00:14:47,274
When I was in other surroundings,

215
00:14:47,309 --> 00:14:49,963
in the surroundings of pictures
and works of art,

216
00:14:49,998 --> 00:14:55,582
I had a violent passion for them,
reaching the highest pitch of enthusiasm.

217
00:14:55,717 --> 00:14:57,642
And I'm not sorry about it.

218
00:14:57,977 --> 00:15:00,520
For even now, far from that land,

219
00:15:00,721 --> 00:15:05,721
I am often homesick
for the land of pictures.

220
00:15:07,455 --> 00:15:11,885
Now, for more than five years,
I have been without employment.

221
00:15:11,889 --> 00:15:15,505
It is true that I have lost
the confidence of many.

222
00:15:16,140 --> 00:15:19,769
It is true that my financial affairs
are in a bad state.

223
00:15:19,804 --> 00:15:24,375
It is true that even my studies are
in a rather sad and hopeless condition.

224
00:15:24,410 --> 00:15:28,827
And that my needs are greater,
infinitely greater than my possessions.

225
00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:32,733
But, I must continue on the path
I've taken now.

226
00:15:33,868 --> 00:15:38,093
But you will ask:
What is your definite aim?

227
00:15:38,728 --> 00:15:42,629
That aim will stand out,
slowly and surely,

228
00:15:42,664 --> 00:15:49,354
as the rough draft becomes a sketch,
and the sketch becomes a picture.

229
00:16:01,985 --> 00:16:04,456
Do our inner thoughts ever
show outwardly?

230
00:16:04,891 --> 00:16:07,537
There may be a great fire in our soul,

231
00:16:07,572 --> 00:16:11,047
yet no one ever comes
to warm himself at it.

232
00:16:11,082 --> 00:16:14,936
And the passersby see only a wisp
of smoke coming through the chimney,

233
00:16:14,971 --> 00:16:16,839
and go along their way.

234
00:16:16,874 --> 00:16:21,661
I think that everything which is really
good and beautiful, comes from God.

235
00:16:21,696 --> 00:16:24,918
And all which is bad and wrong in men
and in their works,

236
00:16:24,953 --> 00:16:26,325
is not of God.

237
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:29,420
But, the best way to know God
is to love many things.

238
00:16:29,455 --> 00:16:33,100
Love's a friend, a wife, something,
whatever you like.

239
00:16:33,135 --> 00:16:34,804
But, one must love

240
00:16:34,905 --> 00:16:37,505
with a lofty and serious
intimate sympathy

241
00:16:37,739 --> 00:16:38,947
with strength and intelligence.

242
00:16:38,982 --> 00:16:43,450
And, one must always try to know
deeper, better and more.

243
00:16:43,485 --> 00:16:47,602
Sometimes I draw small sketches,
almost against my will.

244
00:16:47,637 --> 00:16:50,929
But, it is a hard and difficult struggle
to draw well.

245
00:17:23,205 --> 00:17:25,324
Dear Theo,

246
00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:27,147
I am glad I came home.

247
00:17:27,182 --> 00:17:29,771
Everyday, I go out into the fields.

248
00:17:29,806 --> 00:17:31,612
My drawing has changed.

249
00:17:31,647 --> 00:17:33,587
The technique as well as the results.

250
00:17:33,622 --> 00:17:38,002
I have learnt to measure and to observe,
and seek for broad lines.

251
00:17:38,037 --> 00:17:41,889
So, what seemed imposible before,
is gradually becoming possible now.

252
00:17:47,379 --> 00:17:49,653
There's something I must tell you.

253
00:17:49,988 --> 00:17:52,879
A deep love has grown in my heart
for our cousin Kee.

254
00:17:52,914 --> 00:17:58,495
And when I told her this, she answered
that to her, past and future remained one.

255
00:17:58,530 --> 00:18:00,989
So, she could never return my feelings.

256
00:18:02,024 --> 00:18:06,966
I hope not to leave a single thing undone
which brings me nearer to her,

257
00:18:07,001 --> 00:18:10,454
for love is something so positive,
so strong, so real,

258
00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:14,187
that it is impossible for one who
loves to take back that feeling.

259
00:18:14,722 --> 00:18:17,485
Life has become very dear to me.

260
00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:19,868
And, I am very glad that I love.

261
00:18:20,603 --> 00:18:23,517
My life and my love are one.

262
00:18:29,084 --> 00:18:31,834
Should I accept her 'no, never never',

263
00:18:31,935 --> 00:18:34,035
or should I keep some hope
and not give up?

264
00:18:34,269 --> 00:18:38,279
When it happened, it was at first
as terrible a blow as a death sentence,

265
00:18:38,314 --> 00:18:40,605
and for a moment, crushed me
to the ground.

266
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:44,221
Then, in that inexpressible
anguish of soul, I arose,

267
00:18:44,322 --> 00:18:45,922
not resigning the believing,

268
00:18:46,056 --> 00:18:49,597
and had no other thought than
'she and no other'.

269
00:18:49,632 --> 00:18:52,701
I want to go through the joys
and sorrows of domestic life

270
00:18:52,736 --> 00:18:55,116
in order to paint it from
my own experience.

271
00:18:55,151 --> 00:18:57,299
She refuses to read my letters.

272
00:18:57,334 --> 00:19:01,635
But the frost and the winter cold
are too bitter to last very long.

273
00:19:01,670 --> 00:19:03,833
I send you a few drawings

274
00:19:03,834 --> 00:19:06,834
because I thought you might find
someting of Brabant in them.

275
00:19:06,868 --> 00:19:09,409
Now tell me, why dont they sell?

276
00:19:09,444 --> 00:19:12,585
For now and then, I should like to earn
some money for a railroad ticket

277
00:19:12,620 --> 00:19:15,152
so as to visit that no never never land.

278
00:19:15,187 --> 00:19:18,463
Without her, I am nothing.
But with her, there was a chance.

279
00:19:18,498 --> 00:19:21,951
I need a woman. I cannot, I will not
live without love.

280
00:19:21,986 --> 00:19:25,462
I am a man, and a man with passions.
I must go to a woman.

281
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:28,118
Otherwise, I shall freeze or turn to stone.

282
00:19:29,953 --> 00:19:34,061
Oh dear me, I hadn't far to look!

283
00:19:34,096 --> 00:19:35,901
I found a woman.

284
00:19:37,236 --> 00:19:39,493
That woman was very good to me.

285
00:19:40,128 --> 00:19:41,648
Very kind.

286
00:19:42,383 --> 00:19:45,738
When you wake up in the morning
and find yourself not alone,

287
00:19:45,773 --> 00:19:48,474
but see there a fellow creature
beside you,

288
00:19:48,509 --> 00:19:51,883
it makes the world look
so much more friendly.

289
00:19:51,918 --> 00:19:56,915
Much more friendly than religious diaries
and whitewashed church walls.

290
00:20:01,931 --> 00:20:04,443
Theo, as you can imagine

291
00:20:04,478 --> 00:20:07,325
I have a great many cares and worries.

292
00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:10,146
But still, it gives me
a feeling of satisfaction

293
00:20:10,781 --> 00:20:12,898
to have come so far
that I cannot go back.

294
00:20:12,933 --> 00:20:14,979
And though the path may be different,

295
00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:17,954
I now see it clearly before me.

296
00:20:19,389 --> 00:20:22,352
If you occasionally send me
what you can spare

297
00:20:22,357 --> 00:20:25,489
without inconveniencing yourself,
I would be most grateful.

298
00:20:26,124 --> 00:20:28,537
There is safety in the midst of danger.

299
00:20:29,199 --> 00:20:32,769
What would life be if we hadn't courage
to attempt anything?

300
00:20:32,770 --> 00:20:35,687
How will my work be, a year from now?

301
00:20:36,822 --> 00:20:40,414
If I could only express what I feel!

302
00:20:46,769 --> 00:20:48,633
My dear brother,

303
00:20:48,668 --> 00:20:50,632
last winter I met a pregnant woman

304
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:53,427
deserted by the man
whose child she carried.

305
00:20:53,428 --> 00:20:57,772
A pregnant woman who had to earn
her bread by walking the streets.

306
00:20:57,777 --> 00:21:01,876
I took this woman for a model,
and have worked with her all winter.

307
00:21:01,881 --> 00:21:05,277
I couldn't pay her the full wages
of a model,

308
00:21:05,312 --> 00:21:07,055
but that did not prevent me
paying her rent.

309
00:21:07,779 --> 00:21:10,102
And so far, I have been able to
protect her and her child

310
00:21:10,137 --> 00:21:13,182
from hunger and cold by sharing
my own bread with her.

311
00:21:13,217 --> 00:21:16,310
It seems to me that
every man worth a straw

312
00:21:16,311 --> 00:21:18,311
would have done the same in such a case.

313
00:21:19,645 --> 00:21:21,741
I can only marry once,

314
00:21:21,776 --> 00:21:24,509
and how can I do better than marry her?

315
00:21:25,144 --> 00:21:28,987
Misery would force her
back into her old ways.

316
00:21:29,322 --> 00:21:33,786
I had not forgotten another woman
for whom my heart was beating.

317
00:21:33,821 --> 00:21:36,802
But she was far away,
and refused to see me.

318
00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:41,336
And this one walked the streets
in winter, sick, pregnant, hungry.

319
00:21:41,628 --> 00:21:43,989
I couldn't do otherwise.

320
00:21:44,024 --> 00:21:46,901
Christine and I understand each other.

321
00:21:46,936 --> 00:21:49,806
We don't have to pay attention
to what people say.

322
00:21:49,841 --> 00:21:53,190
Of course, we don't pretend
to maintain any social standing

323
00:21:53,258 --> 00:21:56,110
familiar as I am, with the
prejudices of the world.

324
00:21:56,782 --> 00:21:59,013
She knows what poverty is.

325
00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:00,885
So do I.

326
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,829
Poverty has advantages
and disadvantages.

327
00:22:03,864 --> 00:22:06,683
Fishermen know that the sea
is dangerous,

328
00:22:06,718 --> 00:22:09,898
but they have never found these dangers
sufficient to keep them ashore.

329
00:22:09,933 --> 00:22:11,848
You have my bread in your hands.

330
00:22:12,322 --> 00:22:13,512
Will you take it from me?

331
00:22:13,886 --> 00:22:18,165
At present, money is what
the right of the strongest used to be.

332
00:22:18,190 --> 00:22:20,774
My life or death depends on your help.

333
00:22:20,809 --> 00:22:25,832
If I succeed in making you understand
what I suspect you don't understand yet,

334
00:22:26,037 --> 00:22:28,900
then Christine, her child
and myself will be safe.

335
00:22:29,389 --> 00:22:34,108
To express my feelings for Kee,
I said resolutely, 'she and no other'.

336
00:22:34,403 --> 00:22:37,620
And her 'no, never never' was not
strong enough to make me give her up.

337
00:22:37,747 --> 00:22:39,307
But, I could find no rest.

338
00:22:39,419 --> 00:22:42,514
The strain became unbearable
because she was always silent.

339
00:22:42,549 --> 00:22:44,938
Then I felt that love died within me.

340
00:22:45,099 --> 00:22:47,673
A void, an infinite void
came in its stead.

341
00:22:47,857 --> 00:22:50,290
You know I believe in God.
I did not doubt the power of love.

342
00:22:50,593 --> 00:22:54,424
But then I felt something like 'my God,
my God why hast thou forsaken me'?

343
00:22:54,459 --> 00:22:57,666
And everything became a blank.
Oh God! There is no God!

344
00:22:57,776 --> 00:22:59,608
I am no criminal!

345
00:23:04,086 --> 00:23:06,000
To forget,

346
00:23:06,035 --> 00:23:10,149
I lie down in the sand by an old
tree trunk, and make a drawing of it.

347
00:23:10,184 --> 00:23:15,196
Smoking a pipe and looking at the
blue sky, or the moss or the grass

348
00:23:15,231 --> 00:23:19,435
and I am a thousand miles away
from everything, and much happier.

349
00:23:19,470 --> 00:23:23,643
Let the storm rise, the night descend.

350
00:23:23,678 --> 00:23:26,874
Which is worse, danger or the fear
of danger?

351
00:23:26,909 --> 00:23:29,355
Personally, I prefer reality.

352
00:23:29,390 --> 00:23:31,390
The danger itself.

353
00:23:35,397 --> 00:23:37,532
I have finished two larger drawings.

354
00:23:37,567 --> 00:23:42,428
First, "Sorrow", only the figure
without any surroundings.

355
00:23:42,442 --> 00:23:47,067
The other, "The Roots", show some
tree roots on sandy grounds.

356
00:23:47,702 --> 00:23:51,907
I try to put the same sentiment into
the landscape as I put into the figure.

357
00:23:51,942 --> 00:23:54,187
Convulsive, passionate,
clinging to the earth,

358
00:23:54,222 --> 00:23:56,706
and yet being half torn up by the storm.

359
00:23:56,741 --> 00:23:59,618
I wanted to express something of
the struggle for life

360
00:23:59,653 --> 00:24:01,759
in that pale slender woman's figure,

361
00:24:01,794 --> 00:24:04,926
as well as in the black, gnarled
and knotted roots.

362
00:24:08,723 --> 00:24:12,353
I want to do drawings
which touch some people.

363
00:24:12,688 --> 00:24:15,004
Something straight from my own heart.

364
00:24:15,039 --> 00:24:18,077
In either figure or landscape,
I should wish to express

365
00:24:18,112 --> 00:24:22,276
not sentimental melancholy,
but serious sorrow.

366
00:24:22,311 --> 00:24:25,791
I want to progress so far that
people will say of my work:

367
00:24:25,826 --> 00:24:30,746
He feels deeply. He feels tenderly.

368
00:24:30,781 --> 00:24:33,849
What am I in most people's eyes?

369
00:24:33,884 --> 00:24:37,793
A non-entity or an eccentric
and disagreeable man.

370
00:24:38,428 --> 00:24:41,788
Somebody who has no position
in society, and never will have.

371
00:24:41,793 --> 00:24:44,687
In short, the lowest of the low.

372
00:24:44,722 --> 00:24:49,605
Very well, if this were true, then
I should want my work to show

373
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:52,989
what is in the heart of such
an eccentric, of such a nobody.

374
00:24:53,724 --> 00:24:56,885
This is my ambition, which is
inspite of everything,

375
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,635
founded less on anger than on love;

376
00:24:59,670 --> 00:25:02,188
more on serenity than on passion.

377
00:25:02,223 --> 00:25:05,236
It is true that I am often in
the greatest misery.

378
00:25:05,271 --> 00:25:10,299
But, still there is a calm, pure harmony
and music inside me.

379
00:25:13,558 --> 00:25:16,219
I have made some experiments
with painting.

380
00:25:16,254 --> 00:25:19,481
I write you just this little word,
to tell you I have made a beginning,

381
00:25:19,516 --> 00:25:23,705
and I am sure no one could tell you
that they are my first painted studies.

382
00:25:23,740 --> 00:25:26,072
Painting is such a joy to me!

383
00:25:26,107 --> 00:25:30,263
It is now just two years since I began
to draw in the Borinage.

384
00:25:30,298 --> 00:25:33,503
This week, I have painted some
rather large studies in the wood.

385
00:25:33,538 --> 00:25:35,415
The one which I believe succeeded best,

386
00:25:35,450 --> 00:25:38,646
is of nothing but a piece of dug up
earth after a pouring rain.

387
00:25:38,681 --> 00:25:42,268
The other study in the wood is of
some large green beech trunks

388
00:25:42,303 --> 00:25:44,877
on a stretch of ground
covered with dry sticks

389
00:25:44,912 --> 00:25:47,220
and the little figure of a girl
in white.

390
00:25:47,255 --> 00:25:52,028
The difficulty was to make it so that
one can breathe and walk around in it,

391
00:25:52,063 --> 00:25:54,775
and smell the fragrance of the wood.

392
00:25:55,210 --> 00:25:59,375
For two weeks now, I have painted from
early morning till late at night.

393
00:25:59,806 --> 00:26:04,483
If I continue this way, it would be
too expensive as long as I don't sell.

394
00:26:04,918 --> 00:26:07,632
But, I no longer stand helplessly
in front of nature.

395
00:26:08,659 --> 00:26:11,607
In the woods yesterday,
towards evening,

396
00:26:11,688 --> 00:26:14,593
I was busy painting some
rather sloping ground

397
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:17,344
covered with dry, molded beech leaves.

398
00:26:17,579 --> 00:26:21,099
This ground was light and dark
reddish brown

399
00:26:21,134 --> 00:26:23,476
made more so by the shadows of trees

400
00:26:23,511 --> 00:26:25,774
casting, more or less,
dark streaks over it.

401
00:26:26,495 --> 00:26:29,270
The problem was,
and I found it very difficult,

402
00:26:29,658 --> 00:26:31,102
to get the depth of colour,

403
00:26:31,496 --> 00:26:34,381
the enormous force and solidity
of that ground.

404
00:26:34,382 --> 00:26:38,679
And while painting it, I perceived
for the very first time,

405
00:26:38,714 --> 00:26:42,286
how much light there still was
in that dusk.

406
00:26:42,321 --> 00:26:45,166
To keep that light,
and at the same time,

407
00:26:45,201 --> 00:26:48,636
the glow and depth of that
rich colour.

408
00:26:49,174 --> 00:26:51,428
Behind that brownish red soil,

409
00:26:51,463 --> 00:26:59,954
is a sky, very delicate, bluish grey,
warm, hardly blue, all aglow.

410
00:27:01,489 --> 00:27:05,386
And against it all,
is a holy border of green

411
00:27:05,421 --> 00:27:07,393
and a network of little stems.

412
00:27:07,428 --> 00:27:10,033
A few figures of wood gatherers

413
00:27:10,068 --> 00:27:13,505
are wandering about like dark masses
of mysterious shadows.

414
00:27:13,540 --> 00:27:17,215
The white cap of a woman
bending to reach a dry branch

415
00:27:17,250 --> 00:27:21,999
stands out suddenly against the
deep red-brown of the ground.

416
00:27:22,034 --> 00:27:24,407
A shirt catches the light.

417
00:27:24,442 --> 00:27:26,710
A shadow is cast.

418
00:27:26,745 --> 00:27:29,855
A dark silhouette of a man appears
above the underbrush.

419
00:27:29,890 --> 00:27:33,102
A white bonnet, a cap, a shoulder,

420
00:27:33,137 --> 00:27:36,557
the bust of a woman moulds itself
against the sky.

421
00:27:36,592 --> 00:27:39,901
Those figures are large
and full of poetry.

422
00:27:39,936 --> 00:27:42,908
In the twilight of that deep,
shadowy tone,

423
00:27:42,943 --> 00:27:47,571
they appear as enormous terracottas
being modelled in a studio.

424
00:27:47,606 --> 00:27:50,395
While painting it, I said to myself:

425
00:27:50,430 --> 00:27:54,410
I must not go away before there is
something of an autumn evening in it.

426
00:27:54,445 --> 00:27:57,705
Something mysterious,
something serious.

427
00:27:57,740 --> 00:28:02,248
But, as this effect does not last long,
I had to paint quickly.

428
00:28:02,283 --> 00:28:06,997
The figures were put in at once with a
few strong strokes of a firm brush.

429
00:28:07,032 --> 00:28:11,702
It struck me how sturdily those little
stems were rooted in the ground.

430
00:28:11,737 --> 00:28:13,991
I began painting them with a brush,

431
00:28:14,026 --> 00:28:16,271
but because the surface was
already so heavily covered,

432
00:28:16,306 --> 00:28:18,215
a brushstroke was lost in it.

433
00:28:18,250 --> 00:28:21,686
Then, I squeezed the roots and
trunks in from the tube,

434
00:28:21,721 --> 00:28:24,025
and modelled it a little
with a brush.

435
00:28:24,060 --> 00:28:29,317
Yes, now they stand there, rising from
the ground, strongly rooted in it.

436
00:28:29,352 --> 00:28:31,892
And I am glad I haven't
learned painting.

437
00:28:31,927 --> 00:28:37,388
Because, then I might have learnt
to pass by such effects as this.

438
00:28:39,748 --> 00:28:42,707
The laws of colour are
utterly beautiful,

439
00:28:42,712 --> 00:28:45,330
just because they are
not accidental.

440
00:28:45,335 --> 00:28:47,446
In the same way that people nowadays

441
00:28:47,449 --> 00:28:49,620
no longer believe in fantastic miracles;

442
00:28:49,730 --> 00:28:50,924
no longer believe in a god,

443
00:28:50,959 --> 00:28:54,686
who capriciously and despotically
flies from one thing to another;

444
00:28:54,721 --> 00:28:59,437
they begin to feel more respect, and
admiration for, and faith in nature.

445
00:28:59,472 --> 00:29:02,547
My greatest desire is to make
beautiful things.

446
00:29:02,582 --> 00:29:04,410
But, making beautiful things

447
00:29:04,445 --> 00:29:07,633
cost trouble, and disappointment
and perserverence.

448
00:29:07,668 --> 00:29:10,391
And I don't want that beauty
to come from the material,

449
00:29:10,426 --> 00:29:12,839
but from within myself.

450
00:29:12,874 --> 00:29:17,802
I regret that the woman with whom I live
understands neither books nor art.

451
00:29:17,837 --> 00:29:23,049
If I did not look for art in reality,
I should probably find her stupid.

452
00:29:23,484 --> 00:29:27,230
Sometimes, I cannot believe that
I am only thirty years old.

453
00:29:27,265 --> 00:29:28,925
I feel so much older.

454
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:34,016
One begins to see more clearly that
life is only a kind of sowing time.

455
00:29:34,051 --> 00:29:37,452
And the harvest is not here.

456
00:29:45,197 --> 00:29:48,483
The money from you is absolutely
indispensable for me

457
00:29:48,518 --> 00:29:50,538
as long as I haven't found
employment.

458
00:29:50,573 --> 00:29:54,769
For the moment, my entire supply of
ready cash consists of a postal order

459
00:29:54,804 --> 00:29:58,372
for one guilder and twenty-three and
a half cents torn in two

460
00:29:58,407 --> 00:30:00,420
which has already been refused once.

461
00:30:00,455 --> 00:30:04,312
If we could only find somebody
who would buy my work!

462
00:30:06,347 --> 00:30:08,134
I must start painting again.

463
00:30:08,169 --> 00:30:10,870
I can't do without colours
and colours are expensive!

464
00:30:10,905 --> 00:30:14,134
The sea which I love enormously,
must be brushed in oil,

465
00:30:14,169 --> 00:30:16,245
otherwise one cannot get hold of it.

466
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:18,005
I hope to keep courage.

467
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:20,868
And I hope that perhaps a certain
frenzy and rage for work

468
00:30:20,903 --> 00:30:22,812
may carry me through,
like a ship is sometimes

469
00:30:22,847 --> 00:30:25,819
thrown over a cliff by a wave,
and can make use of a storm

470
00:30:25,854 --> 00:30:28,199
to save herself from wrecking.

471
00:30:29,134 --> 00:30:31,939
If I fail, what does my loss mean?

472
00:30:32,174 --> 00:30:35,092
I don't care so much after all.

473
00:30:35,127 --> 00:30:38,249
But, one generally tries
to make one's life bear fruit

474
00:30:38,284 --> 00:30:40,408
instead of letting it wither.

475
00:30:41,043 --> 00:30:43,496
I do not intend to spare myself,

476
00:30:43,531 --> 00:30:45,936
nor to avoid emotions
or difficulties.

477
00:30:45,971 --> 00:30:49,960
I don't care much whether I live
a longer or shorter time.

478
00:30:50,495 --> 00:30:52,726
I see it all from afar

479
00:30:52,761 --> 00:30:55,665
like a dark shadow.

480
00:30:58,310 --> 00:31:01,399
I am carrying out my plans of
going to Drenthe,

481
00:31:01,434 --> 00:31:04,137
whether the woman goes
with me or not.

482
00:31:04,142 --> 00:31:08,196
With all her damned faults, she will
always be good in my eyes.

483
00:31:08,231 --> 00:31:11,556
and though, I do not doubt for a moment
that I have the same kind of faults,

484
00:31:11,591 --> 00:31:13,883
I hope I shall not change
in this respect,

485
00:31:13,918 --> 00:31:16,275
that when I see a poor woman
with a swollen belly,

486
00:31:16,310 --> 00:31:19,490
I shall always try to do
what I can to help her.

487
00:31:20,525 --> 00:31:23,165
The right thing would have been
to marry her.

488
00:31:23,170 --> 00:31:26,949
But I admit, that she herself
makes it impossible.

489
00:31:26,984 --> 00:31:30,553
She is not nice. She is not good

490
00:31:30,588 --> 00:31:32,600
But neither am I.

491
00:31:32,635 --> 00:31:35,696
And, there was a serious affection,
just the way we were,

492
00:31:35,731 --> 00:31:38,238
notwithstanding everything.

493
00:31:50,082 --> 00:31:52,205
Dear Theo,

494
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:55,349
we have gloomy, rainy days here.

495
00:31:57,084 --> 00:31:59,118
I have worked and economised,

496
00:31:59,123 --> 00:32:02,651
and yet, I have not been able to avoid
getting into debt.

497
00:32:02,686 --> 00:32:07,003
I have been faithful to the woman,
and yet I had to leave her.

498
00:32:07,038 --> 00:32:12,454
I have hated intrigues, and yet
I have neither credit nor any money.

499
00:32:13,289 --> 00:32:16,393
I cannot help asking myself
if I must not tell you,

500
00:32:16,428 --> 00:32:20,329
Leave me to my fate.
There is no help for it.

501
00:32:21,264 --> 00:32:23,840
It is too much for one person.

502
00:32:23,875 --> 00:32:28,022
As long as the weather was fine,
I did not mind the troubles

503
00:32:28,057 --> 00:32:30,511
because I saw so many
beautiful things here.

504
00:32:30,546 --> 00:32:32,959
But now that it has been
pouring incessantly,

505
00:32:32,994 --> 00:32:35,957
I see more clearly how
I have got stuck here,

506
00:32:35,992 --> 00:32:38,092
and how handicapped I am.

507
00:32:39,127 --> 00:32:41,445
I came here in too much of a hurry,

508
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,326
and only now I feel what I lack.

509
00:32:43,361 --> 00:32:47,268
Now that I acted rather harshly,
but what else could I do?

510
00:32:48,303 --> 00:32:52,915
I feel inexpressibly melancholy
without my work to distract me,

511
00:32:52,950 --> 00:32:55,282
and I must work, and work hard.

512
00:32:55,317 --> 00:32:57,610
I must forget myself in my work.

513
00:32:57,645 --> 00:32:59,761
Otherwise, it will crush me.

514
00:33:01,596 --> 00:33:06,032
One finds the most wonderful types
of non-conformist clergymen

515
00:33:06,067 --> 00:33:10,248
with pig faces and three-cornered hats
in this naive, desolate moor.

516
00:33:11,283 --> 00:33:14,343
Theological discussions are held
with the farmers.

517
00:33:15,178 --> 00:33:19,623
How is it possible for such absurdities
to exist in a country like this?

518
00:33:19,624 --> 00:33:22,974
Why couldn't they look out of the window
or smoke their pipes,

519
00:33:22,978 --> 00:33:25,725
or at least behave reasonably,
as for instance, there are pigs

520
00:33:25,730 --> 00:33:28,732
which make no disturbance whatever
though they are pigs,

521
00:33:28,737 --> 00:33:31,622
and are in place in these surroundings,
and in harmony with them.

522
00:33:31,825 --> 00:33:35,021
But, before the clergymen of the type
I saw here,

523
00:33:35,210 --> 00:33:37,990
reach the cultural and rational level
of ordinary pigs,

524
00:33:38,082 --> 00:33:39,927
they must improve considerably.

525
00:33:40,352 --> 00:33:44,365
I do not say far, very far,
be it for me to say,

526
00:33:44,464 --> 00:33:47,373
that I myself have the 'rayon blanc'

527
00:33:47,428 --> 00:33:50,755
but I am not ashamed to say
that it exists.

528
00:33:50,839 --> 00:33:52,782
This white light,

529
00:33:53,071 --> 00:33:54,783
and that I seek it,

530
00:33:55,125 --> 00:33:58,415
and only this do I
consider simplicity.

531
00:34:10,196 --> 00:34:12,012
My dear brother,

532
00:34:12,047 --> 00:34:15,867
for several reasons, I made up
my mind to go home for a while.

533
00:34:15,902 --> 00:34:17,635
Drenthe is splendid.

534
00:34:17,670 --> 00:34:20,386
But, one's being able to
stay there depends on

535
00:34:20,421 --> 00:34:22,791
whether one is able to
stand the loneliness.

536
00:34:22,796 --> 00:34:27,513
I am sick at heart about the fact that
coming back after a two-year absence,

537
00:34:27,548 --> 00:34:30,521
though the welcome home was
kind and cordial in every respect,

538
00:34:30,556 --> 00:34:33,848
basically there has been
no change whatever.

539
00:34:33,883 --> 00:34:35,264
Not the slightest.

540
00:34:35,299 --> 00:34:38,969
And, what I must call the most
extreme blindness and ignorance

541
00:34:39,004 --> 00:34:41,959
as to the insight
in our mutual position.

542
00:34:41,994 --> 00:34:45,166
Father does not know remorse
like you and me,

543
00:34:45,201 --> 00:34:46,950
and any man who is human.

544
00:34:46,985 --> 00:34:49,821
Father believes in his
own righteousness.

545
00:34:49,856 --> 00:34:51,909
Whereas, you and I and
other human creatures

546
00:34:51,944 --> 00:34:55,013
are imbued with the feeling that
we consist of the errors and efforts

547
00:34:55,048 --> 00:34:56,716
of the lost souls.

548
00:34:56,751 --> 00:35:00,092
The good within father,
is wrongly applied,

549
00:35:00,127 --> 00:35:02,444
so that it acts like evil.

550
00:35:02,479 --> 00:35:05,354
Because, the light within him
is black,

551
00:35:05,389 --> 00:35:07,400
and spreads darkness.

552
00:35:07,401 --> 00:35:10,630
My very grief over so much
proves to me

553
00:35:10,665 --> 00:35:14,071
that I myself have definitely
down with the systems in question

554
00:35:14,072 --> 00:35:16,610
I have suffered from them.

555
00:35:15,645 --> 00:35:20,358
But in my heart of hearts, I no longer
belong to that side of life.

556
00:35:20,359 --> 00:35:23,059
Our youth was gloomy and frustrating.

557
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:24,912
In the future,

558
00:35:24,947 --> 00:35:28,463
let us seek that soft light,
for which I know no better name,

559
00:35:28,498 --> 00:35:31,342
than the white ray of light
or the good.

560
00:35:32,943 --> 00:35:35,985
It is dreary outside.

561
00:35:35,986 --> 00:35:40,020
The fields, a mass of lumps of
black earth and some snow,

562
00:35:40,055 --> 00:35:42,131
with mostly days of mist and mire

563
00:35:42,166 --> 00:35:44,684
in between the red sun in the evening
and in the morning.

564
00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:48,895
Crows, withered grass and faded,
rotting green-black shrubs,

565
00:35:48,930 --> 00:35:53,066
and the branches of the poplars
and willows, rigid like wire

566
00:35:53,067 --> 00:35:55,267
against the dismal sky.

567
00:35:56,740 --> 00:36:00,982
This is what I see in passing and it is
quite in harmony with the interiors.

568
00:36:00,987 --> 00:36:03,913
Very gloomy, these dark winter days.

569
00:36:03,928 --> 00:36:07,044
It is also in harmony with
the physiognomy

570
00:36:07,045 --> 00:36:09,845
of the peasants and the weavers here.

571
00:36:09,879 --> 00:36:14,853
A weaver who works steadily, makes a net
profit of four and a half guilden a week.

572
00:36:14,893 --> 00:36:17,717
And when he takes it to the
manufacturer, he is often told

573
00:36:17,743 --> 00:36:20,874
that he cannot take another
piece home for a few weeks.

574
00:36:21,444 --> 00:36:26,162
So, not only are wages low,
but work is pretty scarce too.

575
00:36:26,863 --> 00:36:31,985
Consequently, there's something agitated
and restless about these people.

576
00:36:33,272 --> 00:36:35,329
I am a peasant painter.

577
00:36:35,376 --> 00:36:38,637
I am content with the food, drink,
clothes and board

578
00:36:38,694 --> 00:36:41,179
which the peasants themselves
are content with.

579
00:36:41,214 --> 00:36:45,938
Everyday, I am more convinced that people
who do not first wrestle with nature,

580
00:36:45,973 --> 00:36:47,394
never succeed.

581
00:36:47,429 --> 00:36:50,913
I personally know no other way than
to wrestle with nature

582
00:36:50,991 --> 00:36:52,875
long enough for her to tell me
her secret.

583
00:36:53,068 --> 00:36:55,428
I have no other wish than to live

584
00:36:55,486 --> 00:36:58,965
deep, deep, in the heart of the country
and to paint rural life.

585
00:36:58,972 --> 00:37:00,979
Painting is a faith,

586
00:37:01,041 --> 00:37:04,587
and it imposes the duty to
disregard public opinion.

587
00:37:04,622 --> 00:37:07,074
In painting, one conquers
by perseverence

588
00:37:07,425 --> 00:37:09,987
and not by making concessions.

589
00:37:11,379 --> 00:37:14,986
I intend to make a series of scenes
from rural life.

590
00:37:15,224 --> 00:37:18,377
In short, peasants at home.

591
00:37:18,429 --> 00:37:21,624
Painting peasant life is a serious thing,

592
00:37:21,659 --> 00:37:24,344
and I should reproach myself if
I did not try to make pictures

593
00:37:24,379 --> 00:37:26,200
which will rouse various thoughts

594
00:37:26,235 --> 00:37:29,335
in those who seriously think
about art and life.

595
00:37:29,381 --> 00:37:32,702
One must paint the peasants
as being one of them,

596
00:37:32,737 --> 00:37:35,738
as feeling, thinking as they do.

597
00:37:35,833 --> 00:37:38,798
I feel a power in me which
I must develop.

598
00:37:38,833 --> 00:37:42,509
A fire that I may not quench,
but must keep ablaze,

599
00:37:42,544 --> 00:37:45,644
though I don't know to what end
it will lead me.

600
00:37:45,663 --> 00:37:48,963
I shouldn't be surprised if it were
a gloomy one.

601
00:38:39,265 --> 00:38:42,121
I am working on The Potato Eaters.

602
00:38:42,156 --> 00:38:45,272
What I am trying to do most
is bring life into it.

603
00:38:45,307 --> 00:38:48,749
Yes, I have tried to emphasise
that those people,

604
00:38:48,784 --> 00:38:51,780
eating their potatoes in the lamplight,
have dug the earth

605
00:38:51,815 --> 00:38:53,827
with those very hands they put
in the dish,

606
00:38:53,862 --> 00:38:56,186
and so it speaks of manual labour,

607
00:38:56,221 --> 00:38:59,284
and how they have honestly
earned their food.

608
00:38:59,319 --> 00:39:01,007
I have wanted to give the impression

609
00:39:01,042 --> 00:39:05,106
of a way of life so different from
us so-called civilized people.

610
00:39:05,241 --> 00:39:10,145
Therefore, I am not at all anxious for
anyone to like it or admire it at once.

611
00:39:10,180 --> 00:39:13,773
It might prove to be a real
peasant picture.

612
00:39:13,808 --> 00:39:16,097
I know it is.

613
00:39:30,106 --> 00:39:34,316
One of the most beautiful things to do
is to paint darkness,

614
00:39:34,351 --> 00:39:37,187
which nevertheless, has light in it.

615
00:39:39,580 --> 00:39:41,756
Accustoming oneself to poverty,

616
00:39:41,791 --> 00:39:46,248
seeing how a soldier or a labourer
lives and thrives in wind and weather,

617
00:39:46,283 --> 00:39:49,362
with ordinary people's fare
and dwelling,

618
00:39:49,397 --> 00:39:53,006
is just as practical as earning
a few guilden more a week.

619
00:39:54,599 --> 00:39:58,051
After all, one is not in the world
for one's own comfort,

620
00:39:58,086 --> 00:40:01,341
and one does not need to be better off
than one's neighbour.

621
00:40:01,876 --> 00:40:06,277
I feel that the future will probably
make me more ugly and rough,

622
00:40:06,312 --> 00:40:10,221
and I foresee that a certain poverty
will be my fate.

623
00:40:10,256 --> 00:40:12,329
But, I shall be a painter.

624
00:40:12,370 --> 00:40:13,964
I shall be poor.

625
00:40:13,980 --> 00:40:16,251
I shall remain human.

626
00:40:17,523 --> 00:40:19,740
But I am making progress,

627
00:40:19,775 --> 00:40:22,308
and I firmly believe, that with
perseverence,

628
00:40:22,343 --> 00:40:24,435
I shall win.

629
00:40:25,217 --> 00:40:28,477
You know those three oaks at the
bottom of the garden at home?

630
00:40:28,512 --> 00:40:32,297
I have persevered and plodded
on them for the fourth time.

631
00:40:32,332 --> 00:40:36,865
The difficulty was to model them,
and give them form, colour and tone.

632
00:40:36,900 --> 00:40:40,503
Then in the evening, I took it
to an acquaintance of mine

633
00:40:40,538 --> 00:40:42,392
where we put it on the wall.

634
00:40:42,427 --> 00:40:47,048
Well, never before was I so
convinced that I shall succeed

635
00:40:47,083 --> 00:40:52,286
in calculating my colours so that it is
in my power to get the right effect.

636
00:40:52,387 --> 00:40:55,008
Though that man has money
and he liked it,

637
00:40:55,043 --> 00:40:58,670
I felt such a glow of courage
when I saw that it was good,

638
00:40:58,671 --> 00:41:00,571
that I could not sell it.

639
00:41:00,572 --> 00:41:05,236
But, as he liked it very much, I gave
it to him, and he accepted.

640
00:41:05,237 --> 00:41:10,664
Van Gogh is such an impossible name
for many foreigners to pronounce!

641
00:41:10,665 --> 00:41:14,391
If it should happen that my pictures
found their way to France or England,

642
00:41:14,392 --> 00:41:17,136
then the name would certainly
be murdered.

643
00:41:17,137 --> 00:41:21,935
Whereas, the whole world can pronounce
the name "Vincent" correctly.

644
00:41:53,404 --> 00:41:54,957
Dear Theo,

645
00:41:54,958 --> 00:41:58,368
I am in Antwerp and have already
seen a few things.

646
00:41:58,369 --> 00:42:01,462
The museum of old pictures and
the museum of modern art.

647
00:42:01,463 --> 00:42:04,127
It will never hurt knowing
Antwerp a bit.

648
00:42:04,128 --> 00:42:07,750
It will probably prove to be, like
everything else, namely disillusioning,

649
00:42:07,751 --> 00:42:09,574
but with its own atmosphere.

650
00:42:09,675 --> 00:42:13,929
Tomorrow, I shall start working in
the Academy's painting class.

651
00:42:13,930 --> 00:42:16,969
It is an attempt to come
into contact with people.

652
00:42:17,870 --> 00:42:22,321
To paint a great deal from the model,
that is what I have to do.

653
00:42:22,322 --> 00:42:26,343
And, it is the only thing that
seriously helps to make progress.

654
00:42:27,044 --> 00:42:30,924
When I compare a study of mine
with those of other fellows,

655
00:42:30,925 --> 00:42:35,234
it is curious to see that they have
absolutely nothing in common.

656
00:42:37,391 --> 00:42:39,838
But when I compare myself with them,

657
00:42:39,839 --> 00:42:42,818
I find something stiff and
awkward about me

658
00:42:42,819 --> 00:42:45,551
as if I've been in prison
for ten years.

659
00:42:45,552 --> 00:42:50,084
and the cause of this is that I have
had a difficult and harassed life.

660
00:42:50,085 --> 00:42:56,450
Much care and sorrow, and no friends.

661
00:42:59,459 --> 00:43:02,850
I must change my outward
appearance somewhat.

662
00:43:02,851 --> 00:43:05,413
I'm having my teeth seen to.

663
00:43:05,414 --> 00:43:08,461
There are at least ten teeth that
I have either lost or may lose,

664
00:43:08,462 --> 00:43:10,764
and that is too many
and too troublesome.

665
00:43:10,765 --> 00:43:15,846
And besides, it makes me look over
forty, which is not to my advantage.

666
00:43:16,784 --> 00:43:22,614
But anyway, painting has the secret of
being able to give one a second youth.

667
00:43:26,614 --> 00:43:29,343
I do not intend to spare myself,

668
00:43:29,344 --> 00:43:31,710
nor to avoid emotions or difficulties.

669
00:43:31,711 --> 00:43:35,252
I don't care much whether I live
a longer or shorter life.

670
00:43:35,253 --> 00:43:38,174
The world concerns me only
in so far as I feel

671
00:43:38,175 --> 00:43:40,974
a certain indebtedness
and duty towards it,

672
00:43:40,975 --> 00:43:43,642
because I have walked this earth
for thirty years.

673
00:43:43,643 --> 00:43:46,958
And, out of gratitude, want to
leave some souvenir

674
00:43:46,959 --> 00:43:49,198
in the shape of drawings
or paintings.

675
00:43:49,199 --> 00:43:51,912
not made to please a
certain taste in art,

676
00:43:51,913 --> 00:43:55,066
but to express sincere human feeling.

677
00:44:27,210 --> 00:44:31,462
Theo, do not be cross with me for
having suddenly arrived like this.

678
00:44:31,463 --> 00:44:37,090
I have thought about it so much, and I
believe in this way we shall save time.

679
00:45:26,155 --> 00:45:28,832
I won't say that an artist
can get on here in Paris,

680
00:45:28,833 --> 00:45:32,077
notwithstanding the many
obstructions and diversions.

681
00:45:32,078 --> 00:45:35,775
There's much to be seen,
and much to experience.

682
00:45:36,176 --> 00:45:40,592
In Antwerp, I did not know
what the Impressionists were.

683
00:45:40,593 --> 00:45:43,865
Now I have seen them. And though,
not being one of the club,

684
00:45:43,866 --> 00:45:46,890
I have much admired certain
Impressionist pictures.

685
00:45:47,091 --> 00:45:50,764
I have made a series of
colour studies in painting.

686
00:45:50,765 --> 00:45:54,820
I am trying to render intense colour,
and not a grey harmony.

687
00:45:54,821 --> 00:45:58,612
I have plenty of canvases.
Anton Guy was very good to me.

688
00:45:58,613 --> 00:46:03,161
But, his witch of a wife got wind of
what was going on and opposed it.

689
00:46:03,162 --> 00:46:07,027
And so, I am struggling with my life
and progress in art.

690
00:46:07,028 --> 00:46:13,425
My only anxiety is, how can I be
of use in this world?

691
00:46:37,260 --> 00:46:39,930
At times, I feel old and broken;

692
00:46:39,931 --> 00:46:44,482
and yet, still enough of a lover not
to be a real enthusiast of painting.

693
00:46:44,483 --> 00:46:47,487
One must have ambition
in order to succeed;

694
00:46:47,488 --> 00:46:50,618
and ambition seems to me absurd.

695
00:46:50,619 --> 00:46:53,442
I don't know what will come of it.

696
00:46:53,443 --> 00:46:56,860
Above all, I should like to be
less of a burden to you.

697
00:46:56,861 --> 00:46:58,822
That is not impossible in the future.

698
00:46:58,823 --> 00:47:00,159
For I hope I will make such progress,

699
00:47:00,194 --> 00:47:06,142
that you will be able to show my work
boldly, without compromising yourself.

700
00:47:06,143 --> 00:47:09,088
Then I will take myself off
somewhere down south,

701
00:47:09,169 --> 00:47:13,563
to get away from the sight of so many
painters that disgust me as men.

702
00:47:14,064 --> 00:47:17,169
How does one become mediocre?

703
00:47:17,170 --> 00:47:19,974
By compromising and
making concessions;

704
00:47:19,975 --> 00:47:22,745
today in this matter,
tomorrow in another,

705
00:47:22,746 --> 00:47:25,349
according to the dictates
of the world;

706
00:47:25,350 --> 00:47:31,350
by never contradicting the world; and
by always following public opinion.

707
00:47:31,551 --> 00:47:35,369
It seems to me almost impossible
to work in Paris, unless one has

708
00:47:35,404 --> 00:47:38,406
some place of retreat where
one can recuperate,

709
00:47:38,411 --> 00:47:41,850
and get one's tranquility
and poise back.

710
00:49:12,661 --> 00:49:14,676
Yes, I may be going to
the south of France.

711
00:49:14,677 --> 00:49:17,477
The land of blue tones
and gay colours.

712
00:49:17,478 --> 00:49:23,226
I am not an adventurer by choice,
but by fate.

713
00:50:08,735 --> 00:50:12,554
My dear brother, during the journey
I thought of you at lease as much

714
00:50:12,555 --> 00:50:14,871
as I did of the new country
I was seeing.

715
00:50:14,872 --> 00:50:17,690
I believe in the ultimate victory.

716
00:50:17,725 --> 00:50:20,994
But will the artists themselves
gain any advantages from it?

717
00:50:20,995 --> 00:50:23,740
And will they see less troubled days?

718
00:50:23,741 --> 00:50:25,855
I feel as though I was in Japan.

719
00:50:25,856 --> 00:50:27,423
I say no more than that.

720
00:50:27,424 --> 00:50:31,977
And mind you, I haven't seen
anything in its usual splendour yet!

721
00:50:32,378 --> 00:50:37,084
It is my constant hope that I'm not
working for myself alone.

722
00:50:37,085 --> 00:50:41,267
I believe in the absolute necessity
of a new art of colour,

723
00:50:41,268 --> 00:50:44,715
of design, and of the artistic life.

724
00:50:45,516 --> 00:50:48,055
If we work in that faith,

725
00:50:48,090 --> 00:50:52,044
it seems to me there is a chance
that we do not hope in vain.

726
00:50:53,295 --> 00:50:56,251
I've been working in the open air
in an orchard.

727
00:50:56,252 --> 00:50:58,965
Lilac ploughland, a reed fence,

728
00:50:58,966 --> 00:51:02,937
two pink peach tress against
a sky of glorious blue and white.

729
00:51:02,938 --> 00:51:05,155
Probably the best landscape
I've done.

730
00:51:05,156 --> 00:51:07,301
I had just brought it home,

731
00:51:07,336 --> 00:51:10,973
when I received from our sister,
an obituary in memory of Mauve.

732
00:51:11,008 --> 00:51:15,973
something, I don't know what, took hold
of me and brought a lump to my throat.

733
00:51:15,974 --> 00:51:18,500
Oh never think the dead are dead!

734
00:51:18,501 --> 00:51:22,031
As long as there are men alive,
the dead will live.

735
00:51:22,032 --> 00:51:23,533
The dead will live.

736
00:51:23,534 --> 00:51:26,992
That's how I feel it.
Nothing sadder than that.

737
00:51:26,993 --> 00:51:29,938
I am up to my ears in work.

738
00:51:29,939 --> 00:51:34,062
For the trees are in blossom, and I
want to paint a provincial orchard

739
00:51:34,063 --> 00:51:36,168
of outstanding gaeity.

740
00:51:36,769 --> 00:51:41,629
I fasten my easel with pegs driven into
the ground, and work inspite of the wind.

741
00:51:41,630 --> 00:51:43,574
It's too lovely!

742
00:51:44,675 --> 00:51:49,619
It seems to me more and more that
people are the roots of everything.

743
00:51:49,620 --> 00:51:51,959
And though it will always be
a melancholy thought,

744
00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:54,319
that you yourself are not
in real life.

745
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:58,310
I mean, that it's more worthwhile
to work in flesh and blood itself,

746
00:51:58,311 --> 00:51:59,961
than in paint or plaster;

747
00:51:59,962 --> 00:52:04,423
more worthwhile to make children
than pictures or carry out business.

748
00:52:06,341 --> 00:52:08,407
I shall go on working.

749
00:52:08,492 --> 00:52:12,742
And here and there, among my work,
there will be things that will last.

750
00:52:12,743 --> 00:52:15,540
But who will be the figure painter,

751
00:52:15,541 --> 00:52:18,355
what Claude Monet is to landscape?

752
00:52:18,947 --> 00:52:25,735
The painter of the future will be a
colourist such as has never yet existed.

753
00:52:35,089 --> 00:52:38,159
We must not judge God
from this world.

754
00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:40,391
It's just a study that
didn't come off.

755
00:52:40,792 --> 00:52:44,246
It's only a master who
can make such a blunder.

756
00:52:44,247 --> 00:52:48,842
And this life of ours, so much
criticized and for such good reasons.

757
00:52:48,843 --> 00:52:51,869
We must not take it for anything
but for what it is.

758
00:52:51,948 --> 00:52:55,709
And so, go on hoping that
in some other life,

759
00:52:55,744 --> 00:52:58,724
we'll see something better than this.

760
00:52:59,625 --> 00:53:02,829
I should like to paint the portrait
of an artist friend.

761
00:53:02,830 --> 00:53:05,027
A man who dreams great dreams.

762
00:53:05,028 --> 00:53:08,087
I paint him as faithfully as I can
to begin with,

763
00:53:08,122 --> 00:53:09,886
but the picture is not finished yet.

764
00:53:09,887 --> 00:53:12,843
To finish it, I exaggerate
the fairness of the hair,

765
00:53:12,844 --> 00:53:16,683
I get to orange tones, chromes
and pale lemon yellow.

766
00:53:16,684 --> 00:53:20,824
Beyond the head, instead of painting
the ordinary wall of the main room,

767
00:53:20,825 --> 00:53:23,877
I paint, infinity.

768
00:53:23,878 --> 00:53:27,987
A plain background of the richest,
intensest blue that I can contrive.

769
00:53:27,988 --> 00:53:29,719
And by this simple combination,

770
00:53:29,754 --> 00:53:32,938
the bright head, illuminated against
a rich blue background,

771
00:53:32,993 --> 00:53:35,161
acquires a mysterious effect.

772
00:53:35,162 --> 00:53:38,182
Like a star in the depth of
an azure sky.

773
00:53:38,483 --> 00:53:44,212
And, the nice people will only see
the exaggeration as caricature.

774
00:53:44,613 --> 00:53:47,137
Here's a picture of the yellow house.

775
00:53:47,138 --> 00:53:51,467
Alorn in the square, as you come into
town, with a building at the back.

776
00:53:51,468 --> 00:53:54,819
Today, I have taken the right wing
which contains four rooms,

777
00:53:54,820 --> 00:53:56,843
or rather, two rooms
with two cabinets.

778
00:53:56,844 --> 00:53:59,343
I hope I've landed on my feet
this time.

779
00:53:59,344 --> 00:54:02,806
You know, yellow outside,
white inside, with all the sun

780
00:54:02,841 --> 00:54:05,300
so that I shall see my canvases
in a bright interior.

781
00:54:05,301 --> 00:54:09,055
Meanwhile, if you approve,
I shall furnish the bedroom,

782
00:54:09,056 --> 00:54:11,607
either hiring or buying it
for cash down.

783
00:54:11,608 --> 00:54:14,609
I should like to share the
little studio with someone.

784
00:54:14,610 --> 00:54:18,205
Perhaps, Gauguin will come south.

785
00:54:20,478 --> 00:54:22,686
My dear Gauguin,

786
00:54:22,687 --> 00:54:26,807
I wanted to let you know, that I
have just rented a four-room house

787
00:54:26,975 --> 00:54:27,990
here in Arles.

788
00:54:27,995 --> 00:54:29,609
And that it would seem to me

789
00:54:29,612 --> 00:54:32,653
that if I could find another painter,
inclined to work in the south;

790
00:54:32,698 --> 00:54:36,103
and who, like myself, would be
sufficiently absorbed in his work;

791
00:54:36,138 --> 00:54:38,950
to be able to resign himself
to living like a monk;

792
00:54:38,985 --> 00:54:41,390
who goes to the brothel
once a fortnight;

793
00:54:41,425 --> 00:54:43,725
who, for the rest,
is tied up in his work,

794
00:54:43,760 --> 00:54:46,197
and not very willing
to waste his time;

795
00:54:46,232 --> 00:54:49,081
it might be a good job.

796
00:54:49,082 --> 00:54:53,771
Being all alone, I am suffering
a little under this isolation.

797
00:54:54,172 --> 00:54:55,771
Theo,

798
00:54:55,806 --> 00:54:57,807
if Ganguin were willing to join me,

799
00:54:57,842 --> 00:55:00,736
I think it will be a step forward
for us.

800
00:55:00,737 --> 00:55:04,416
It would establish us squarely
as the explorers of the south,

801
00:55:04,451 --> 00:55:07,265
and nobody could complain of that.

802
00:55:07,966 --> 00:55:11,014
I am writing to you from
Saintes-Maries-de-la-Mer

803
00:55:11,049 --> 00:55:12,504
on the shores of the Mediterranean.

804
00:55:12,505 --> 00:55:16,627
One night, I went for a walk by the
sea, along the empty shore.

805
00:55:16,628 --> 00:55:20,183
It was not gay.
But, neither was it sad.

806
00:55:20,218 --> 00:55:23,007
It was beautiful.

807
00:55:23,008 --> 00:55:25,509
The deep blue sky was
flecked with clouds

808
00:55:25,544 --> 00:55:28,853
of a blue deeper than the
fundamental blue of intense cobalt.

809
00:55:28,854 --> 00:55:30,889
The others of a clearer blue,

810
00:55:30,924 --> 00:55:33,256
like the blue whiteness
of the milky way.

811
00:55:33,257 --> 00:55:36,651
In the blue depth,
the stars were sparkling,

812
00:55:36,652 --> 00:55:38,519
greenish, yellow, white, pink

813
00:55:38,520 --> 00:55:42,127
more brilliant, more sparkling
gem-like than at home.

814
00:55:42,128 --> 00:55:44,278
Now that I have seen the sea here,

815
00:55:44,313 --> 00:55:48,629
I am absolutely convinced of the
importance of staying in the Midi,

816
00:55:48,630 --> 00:55:52,663
and of positively piling it on,
exaggerating the colour.

817
00:55:54,624 --> 00:55:58,598
You see things more Japanese,
you feel colour differently.

818
00:55:58,599 --> 00:56:02,911
The Japanese draw quickly, very
quickly, like a lightning flash,

819
00:56:02,912 --> 00:56:06,571
because their nerves are finer,
their feelings simpler.

820
00:56:15,882 --> 00:56:19,969
I've had a week's hard work among
the cornfields in the full sun.

821
00:56:19,970 --> 00:56:24,627
The result is some studies of cornfields,
landscapes, and a sketch of a sower.

822
00:56:24,628 --> 00:56:28,070
A ploughed field, a big field
with clouds of violet earth

823
00:56:28,071 --> 00:56:29,862
climbing toward the horizon.

824
00:56:29,863 --> 00:56:31,975
A sower in blue and white.

825
00:56:31,976 --> 00:56:36,026
Over it all, a yellow sky
with a yellow sun.

826
00:56:36,027 --> 00:56:38,608
Colour plays a very important part.

827
00:56:38,609 --> 00:56:43,523
My lord, I do want to attack it seriously
and make a tremendous picture of it.

828
00:56:43,524 --> 00:56:45,545
Everyone will say that
I work too fast.

829
00:56:45,546 --> 00:56:47,507
Don't you believe a word of it.

830
00:56:47,508 --> 00:56:50,876
Is it not emotion, the sincerity of
one's feeling for nature that draws us?

831
00:56:50,877 --> 00:56:52,799
And if the emotions are
sometimes so strong

832
00:56:52,800 --> 00:56:54,510
that one works without
knowing one works,

833
00:56:54,511 --> 00:56:57,551
when sometimes the strokes come
with a continuity and a coherence,

834
00:56:57,552 --> 00:56:59,383
like words in a speech or a letter,

835
00:56:59,384 --> 00:57:04,670
then one must remember, that
it has not always been so.

836
00:57:04,671 --> 00:57:08,793
and that in time to come,
there will again be hard days,

837
00:57:08,906 --> 00:57:11,074
empty of inspiration,

838
00:57:11,075 --> 00:57:17,261
so one must strike while the iron is hot,
and put the forge bars on one side.

839
00:57:17,362 --> 00:57:19,471
I know nothing.

840
00:57:19,472 --> 00:57:22,500
But, it is just this feeling
of not knowing,

841
00:57:22,501 --> 00:57:25,254
that makes the real life
we are actually living now,

842
00:57:25,255 --> 00:57:27,999
like a one-way journey on a train.

843
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:32,482
You go fast, but cannot distinguish
any object very clearly.

844
00:57:32,483 --> 00:57:36,294
And above all, you do not
see the engine.

845
00:57:36,795 --> 00:57:40,258
So, at the end of my career
I shall prove to be wrong,

846
00:57:40,259 --> 00:57:42,136
so be it.

847
00:57:42,137 --> 00:57:47,261
Then I shall find that not only the arts,
but everything else were only dreams,

848
00:57:47,328 --> 00:57:50,349
and that one has nothing
at all oneself.

849
00:57:50,350 --> 00:57:55,298
If we are as flimsy as that,
so much the better for us.

850
00:57:55,299 --> 00:57:58,141
For then there is nothing to be said

851
00:57:58,142 --> 00:58:02,404
against the unlimited possibility
of future existence.

852
00:58:04,515 --> 00:58:07,591
Looking at the stars always
makes me dream,

853
00:58:07,592 --> 00:58:10,237
as simply as I dream over
the black dots

854
00:58:10,272 --> 00:58:13,341
representing towns and villages
on a map.

855
00:58:16,388 --> 00:58:20,842
Why, I ask myself, shouldn't the
shining dots of the sky

856
00:58:20,877 --> 00:58:24,786
be as accessible as the black dots
on the map of France?

857
00:58:25,521 --> 00:58:29,734
Just as we take the train to get to
Tarascon or Rouen,

858
00:58:29,735 --> 00:58:32,690
we take death to reach a star.

859
00:58:33,918 --> 00:58:36,706
We cannot get to a star
while we are alive,

860
00:58:36,707 --> 00:58:39,775
anymore than we can take the train
when we are dead.

861
00:58:40,276 --> 00:58:46,986
So, to me it seems possible that
cholera, tuberculosis and cancer

862
00:58:46,987 --> 00:58:50,183
are the celestial means
of locomotion.

863
00:58:50,218 --> 00:58:54,598
Just as steamboats, buses and
railways are the terrestrial means.

864
00:58:54,633 --> 00:58:59,813
To die quietly of old age,
would be to go there on foot.

865
00:59:01,346 --> 00:59:04,171
We do not feel we are dying.

866
00:59:04,172 --> 00:59:08,510
But we feel the truth that
we are of small account.

867
00:59:11,954 --> 00:59:16,420
A canvas I have covered is
worth more than a blank canvas.

868
00:59:17,080 --> 00:59:22,339
That, believe me my pretensions go
no further, that is my right to paint;

869
00:59:22,340 --> 00:59:26,385
my reason for painting, and
by the lord, I have one!

870
00:59:26,686 --> 00:59:31,179
I can very well do without God,
both in my life and in my painting.

871
00:59:31,180 --> 00:59:36,094
But I cannot, ill as I am, do without
something which is greater than I am;

872
00:59:36,095 --> 00:59:39,543
which is my life; the power to create.

873
00:59:39,578 --> 00:59:42,598
And if frustrated by the physical power,

874
00:59:42,599 --> 00:59:46,590
a man tries to create thought
instead of children,

875
00:59:46,625 --> 00:59:49,006
he is still part of humanity.

876
00:59:49,007 --> 00:59:52,127
Upto now, the loneliness
hasn't worried me much,

877
00:59:52,128 --> 00:59:55,162
because I have found a brighter sun.

878
01:01:35,114 --> 01:01:40,395
If the storm within gets too loud,
I take a glass too much to stun myself.

879
01:01:40,396 --> 01:01:43,187
Now, painting is becoming
a distraction for me,

880
01:01:43,188 --> 01:01:45,488
like rabbit hunting for
the crack-brained.

881
01:01:45,489 --> 01:01:47,567
They do it to distract themselves.

882
01:01:47,568 --> 01:01:50,378
My concentration becomes
more intense,

883
01:01:50,413 --> 01:01:52,563
my hand more sure.

884
01:01:52,564 --> 01:01:57,522
That is why I almost dare swear to you,
that my painting will improve,

885
01:01:57,523 --> 01:02:00,542
because I have nothing left but that.

886
01:02:02,931 --> 01:02:06,524
Last week, I did two portraits
of my postman.

887
01:02:06,525 --> 01:02:09,352
The good fellow, as he would not
accept money,

888
01:02:09,353 --> 01:02:11,701
cost more eating and drinking with me.

889
01:02:11,702 --> 01:02:15,796
But that is a trifle evil considering
that he posed very well.

890
01:02:17,546 --> 01:02:21,082
The more I think it over,
the more I feel

891
01:02:21,117 --> 01:02:24,383
that there is nothing more artistic
than to love people.

892
01:02:24,884 --> 01:02:28,774
I always think that poetry is
more terrible than painting,

893
01:02:28,775 --> 01:02:32,884
though painting is a dirtier and
a much more worrying job.

894
01:02:32,919 --> 01:02:36,072
And then the painter
never says anything.

895
01:02:36,073 --> 01:02:39,876
He holds his tongue,
and I like that too.

896
01:02:43,255 --> 01:02:46,818
Just now, we are having a glorious,
strong heat with no wind.

897
01:02:46,819 --> 01:02:49,558
Just what I want.
There is a sun.

898
01:02:49,559 --> 01:02:53,936
A light, that for the want of a better
word, I can only call yellow.

899
01:02:53,937 --> 01:02:57,314
Pale sulphur yellow,
pale golden lemon.

900
01:02:57,315 --> 01:03:00,558
How lovely yellow is!

901
01:03:20,986 --> 01:03:24,205
I am now in the fourth picture
of sunflowers.

902
01:03:24,206 --> 01:03:28,559
Fortunately for me, I do not hanker
after victory anymore.

903
01:03:28,560 --> 01:03:33,299
And all that I seek in painting
is a way to make life bearable.

904
01:03:35,452 --> 01:03:37,695
Oh my dear brother,

905
01:03:37,696 --> 01:03:41,010
Sometimes I know so well what I want.

906
01:03:41,811 --> 01:03:45,615
I still have a kind of
concentrated power

907
01:03:45,616 --> 01:03:48,321
which only asks to
spend itself in work.

908
01:03:48,322 --> 01:03:52,698
I must be allowed to stress my own
personality in a portrait;

909
01:03:52,699 --> 01:03:55,754
not only myself, but in
Impressionists in general;

910
01:03:55,755 --> 01:03:58,815
a simple worshipper of
the external Buddha.

911
01:03:58,816 --> 01:04:02,785
I have made the eyes slightly
slanting like the Japanese.

912
01:04:08,558 --> 01:04:11,885
I have just bought a dressing-table
with everything necessary,

913
01:04:11,891 --> 01:04:13,655
and my little room is complete.

914
01:04:13,656 --> 01:04:16,865
You cannot imagine what
peace of mind it gives me.

915
01:04:16,866 --> 01:04:20,826
I shall end up not feeling
lonesome in this house.

916
01:04:22,152 --> 01:04:25,487
Hope is breaking for me
vaguely on the horizon.

917
01:04:25,488 --> 01:04:29,275
That hope, in intermittent flashes,
like a lighthouse

918
01:04:29,310 --> 01:04:32,898
which has sometimes comforted me
during my solitary life.

919
01:04:32,899 --> 01:04:35,920
I was wild to see my pictures
in frames,

920
01:04:36,050 --> 01:04:37,655
and I had ordered too many
for my budget.

921
01:04:37,656 --> 01:04:39,946
But I ventured to think that
if you saw the studies,

922
01:04:39,947 --> 01:04:43,943
you would say I was right to work at
white heat as long as it was fine.

923
01:04:43,944 --> 01:04:46,319
I had a new idea in my head.

924
01:04:46,320 --> 01:04:48,795
This time, it's simply my bedroom.

925
01:04:48,796 --> 01:04:51,413
Only here, colour is doing
everything,

926
01:04:51,414 --> 01:04:55,127
and gives by its simplification,
a grander style to things.

927
01:04:55,128 --> 01:04:58,348
It's suggestive here of rest
or of sleep,

928
01:04:58,349 --> 01:05:03,030
looking at the picture, or to rest
the brain, or rather the imagination.

929
01:05:03,031 --> 01:05:05,462
The walls are pale violet.

930
01:05:05,497 --> 01:05:07,855
The floor is of red tiles.

931
01:05:07,856 --> 01:05:11,811
The sheets and pillow
very light greenish lemon.

932
01:05:11,812 --> 01:05:15,234
The coverlet scarlet.
The window green.

933
01:05:15,235 --> 01:05:17,561
The toilette table orange.

934
01:05:17,562 --> 01:05:19,424
The basin blue.

935
01:05:19,425 --> 01:05:22,447
The door lilac.
And that is all.

936
01:05:22,448 --> 01:05:27,348
The broad lines of the furniture again
must express inviolable rest.

937
01:05:27,349 --> 01:05:32,350
The frame, as there is no white
in the picture, will be white.

938
01:05:32,351 --> 01:05:37,543
This, by way of revenge, for the
enforced rest I was obliged to take.

939
01:05:38,144 --> 01:05:40,007
Dear Theo,

940
01:05:40,008 --> 01:05:41,982
Gauguin has arrived in good health.

941
01:05:41,983 --> 01:05:43,651
We have loads of work to do.

942
01:05:43,652 --> 01:05:46,836
He and I intend to take a tour
of the brothels pretty soon,

943
01:05:46,837 --> 01:05:48,670
so as to study them.

944
01:05:48,671 --> 01:05:51,110
You cannot imagine
how much it pleases me

945
01:05:51,111 --> 01:05:53,366
to have such good company
as Gauguin's.

946
01:05:53,367 --> 01:05:58,046
If we can stand the siege,
victory will come to us one day.

947
01:05:58,893 --> 01:06:03,231
Joy in public, sorrow at home.

948
01:06:03,232 --> 01:06:06,327
Supposing that the fight
is still before us,

949
01:06:06,328 --> 01:06:09,096
we must just try to mature quietly.

950
01:06:09,097 --> 01:06:12,079
Gauguin gives me the courage
to imagine things.

951
01:06:12,080 --> 01:06:17,138
and certainly things from the imagination
take on a more mysterious character.

952
01:06:17,139 --> 01:06:22,909
We talk a lot. Our arguments
are terribly electric.

953
01:06:28,245 --> 01:06:31,288
I think myself that Gauguin
is a little out of sorts

954
01:06:31,289 --> 01:06:33,174
with the good town of Arles;

955
01:06:33,175 --> 01:06:35,616
the little yellow house
where we work;

956
01:06:35,617 --> 01:06:39,126
and, especially, with me.

957
01:06:40,127 --> 01:06:43,773
There are grave difficulties
to overcome,

958
01:06:43,774 --> 01:06:46,382
for him, as well as for me.

959
01:06:46,383 --> 01:06:52,646
But, these difficulties are more
within ourselves, than outside.

960
01:08:12,604 --> 01:08:14,447
Dear Theo,

961
01:08:14,748 --> 01:08:17,638
I write to you in full possession
of my faculties,

962
01:08:17,639 --> 01:08:20,875
not as a madman, but
as the brother you know.

963
01:08:20,876 --> 01:08:23,517
This is the truth.

964
01:08:23,518 --> 01:08:27,207
A certain number of people here,
addressed a petition to the mayor

965
01:08:27,208 --> 01:08:30,989
describing me as a man
not fit to be at liberty!

966
01:08:30,990 --> 01:08:34,559
What a staggering blow
between the eye,

967
01:08:34,560 --> 01:08:39,858
to find so many people here cowardly
enough to join together against one man!

968
01:08:39,859 --> 01:08:42,359
And that man ill!

969
01:08:42,360 --> 01:08:47,426
I think about all the people I know,
all day and all night long.

970
01:08:48,783 --> 01:08:54,698
To suffer without complaining is one
lesson that has to be learned in life.

971
01:08:56,993 --> 01:09:01,708
When I get out, I shall be able to go
my own little way again.

972
01:09:01,709 --> 01:09:04,806
And soon, the fine weather
will be coming again;

973
01:09:04,807 --> 01:09:08,077
and I will start on the
orchards in bloom.

974
01:09:08,078 --> 01:09:10,974
No harm has come to me.

975
01:09:10,975 --> 01:09:16,385
No evil exists in this best of worlds
in which everything is for the best.

976
01:09:18,443 --> 01:09:24,029
During my illness, I saw again every
room in the house at home.

977
01:09:24,030 --> 01:09:30,033
Every path, every plant in the garden,
the views of the fields outside,

978
01:09:30,034 --> 01:09:36,764
the neighbours, down to a magpie's nest
in a tall acacia in the graveyard.

979
01:09:37,372 --> 01:09:41,391
There's no one left to remember
all this but Mother and me.

980
01:09:42,192 --> 01:09:47,290
The best we can do is to make fun
of our petty griefs,

981
01:09:47,291 --> 01:09:52,993
and, in a way, of the great griefs
of human life too.

982
01:09:52,994 --> 01:09:57,584
I'd kept myself going on coffee
and alcohol. I admit all that.

983
01:09:57,585 --> 01:10:00,768
But all the same, it is true that
to attain the high yellow note

984
01:10:00,769 --> 01:10:04,836
I obtained last summer, I really had
to be pretty well keyed up.

985
01:10:04,837 --> 01:10:09,793
To produce the pictures in the
furnace heat of the Midi!

986
01:10:12,540 --> 01:10:18,854
Now, I feel a certain undercurrent of
vague sadness difficult to define.

987
01:10:18,855 --> 01:10:22,114
I am troubled by shapeless fears.

988
01:10:22,115 --> 01:10:25,159
My God, those anxieties!

989
01:10:25,160 --> 01:10:31,002
Who can live in the modern world
without catching his share of them!

990
01:10:42,940 --> 01:10:46,934
You can exhibit the pictures
of the sunflowers.

991
01:10:46,935 --> 01:10:51,328
You will see that this is a kind of
painting that rather changes to the eye,

992
01:10:51,329 --> 01:10:53,790
and takes on richness the longer
you look at it.

993
01:10:53,791 --> 01:10:59,217
Perhaps as an attempt to get all the
music of the colour into La Berceuse.

994
01:10:59,218 --> 01:11:02,156
It's badly painted but all the same.

995
01:11:02,157 --> 01:11:05,143
Gauguin himself liked the
sunflowers better later on,

996
01:11:05,178 --> 01:11:07,494
when he'd been looking
at them for a long while.

997
01:11:07,495 --> 01:11:10,488
You must realise that if you
arrange them this way,

998
01:11:10,489 --> 01:11:14,615
say La Berceuse in the middle and
the two canvases of sunflowers

999
01:11:14,827 --> 01:11:17,924
to the right and left,
it makes a sort of triptych

1000
01:11:17,935 --> 01:11:21,665
And then the yellow and orange tones
of the head will gain in brilliance

1001
01:11:21,700 --> 01:11:27,367
by the proximity of the yellow wings
and the paintings seen together.

1002
01:11:30,181 --> 01:11:33,266
I've no illusions about myself anymore.

1003
01:11:34,799 --> 01:11:40,430
There are moments when I'm twisted
by enthusiasm or madness or prophecy

1004
01:11:40,431 --> 01:11:43,430
like a Greek oracle on a tripod.

1005
01:11:43,431 --> 01:11:47,168
Just as the waves pound against
the sullen hopeless cliffs,

1006
01:11:47,169 --> 01:11:50,942
I feel a tempest desire to
embrace something.

1007
01:11:50,963 --> 01:11:52,963
A woman of the domestic hen type.

1008
01:11:52,997 --> 01:11:56,486
One must take this for what it is, the
effect of hysterical overexcitement,

1009
01:11:56,487 --> 01:11:59,279
rather than a vision of actual reality.

1010
01:12:00,471 --> 01:12:03,751
Let's work on very quietly.

1011
01:12:03,752 --> 01:12:08,390
You will do your duty
and I will do mine.

1012
01:12:08,391 --> 01:12:11,815
We have both already paid
in ways other than in words,

1013
01:12:11,816 --> 01:12:17,390
and at the end of the road, we may
quietly come together again.

1014
01:12:23,104 --> 01:12:26,746
If you saw the olive groves just now!

1015
01:12:26,747 --> 01:12:30,487
The leaves - old silver and
silver turning to green -

1016
01:12:30,488 --> 01:12:34,917
against the blue and the
orange-coloured ploughed earth.

1017
01:12:37,491 --> 01:12:41,293
It's like the pollard willows
of our Dutch meadows

1018
01:12:41,294 --> 01:12:43,790
or the oak bushes of our dunes.

1019
01:12:43,791 --> 01:12:49,209
That is to say the rustle of an olive
grove has something very secret in it,

1020
01:12:49,210 --> 01:12:51,684
and immensely old.

1021
01:12:52,085 --> 01:12:55,726
It is too beautiful for us
to dare to paint it,

1022
01:12:55,727 --> 01:12:58,735
or be able to imagine it.

1023
01:13:03,564 --> 01:13:07,423
Now, to get up heat enough
to melt that gold again,

1024
01:13:07,424 --> 01:13:11,002
those flower tones.
It isn't everybody who can do it.

1025
01:13:11,003 --> 01:13:17,560
It needs the whole and entire force
and concentration of a single individual.

1026
01:13:20,158 --> 01:13:23,990
I am doing an arrieux of
pink flowering chestnuts

1027
01:13:23,991 --> 01:13:27,098
and the little cherry tree in flower,
with the wisteria plant

1028
01:13:27,099 --> 01:13:31,181
and a path in the park splashed
with light and shade.

1029
01:13:32,751 --> 01:13:36,166
Now, society being what it is,

1030
01:13:36,167 --> 01:13:40,406
we naturally cannot wish that it should
conform to our personal needs.

1031
01:13:40,407 --> 01:13:44,230
And so, though I am very glad
to be going to Saint Remy,

1032
01:13:44,231 --> 01:13:48,143
nevertheless it would be fair
that a man like myself

1033
01:13:48,144 --> 01:13:51,359
to shove them into the foreign legion.

1034
01:13:53,347 --> 01:14:00,037
All through my life, I have sought
something other than a martyr's career,

1035
01:14:00,038 --> 01:14:03,646
for which I am not cut out.

1036
01:14:07,559 --> 01:14:09,779
Dear Theo,

1037
01:14:10,180 --> 01:14:12,390
I think I've done well to come here.

1038
01:14:12,391 --> 01:14:18,030
I am losing the vague dread,
the fear of the thing.

1039
01:14:18,031 --> 01:14:23,137
And little by little, I can come to look
upon madness as a disease like any other.

1040
01:14:23,138 --> 01:14:25,639
The fear and horror of madness
that I used to have,

1041
01:14:25,640 --> 01:14:27,775
has already lessened a great deal.

1042
01:14:27,776 --> 01:14:31,767
And though you continually hear
terrible howls and cries,

1043
01:14:31,768 --> 01:14:34,839
the people here get to know
each other very well,

1044
01:14:34,840 --> 01:14:37,408
and help each other when
their attacks come on.

1045
01:14:37,409 --> 01:14:40,843
When I am working in the garden,
they all come to look.

1046
01:14:40,844 --> 01:14:44,393
I assure you, they have the discretion
and manners to leave me alone,

1047
01:14:44,394 --> 01:14:47,934
more so than the good people
of Arles for instance.

1048
01:14:47,935 --> 01:14:51,377
If I had not seen other
lunatics close up,

1049
01:14:51,378 --> 01:14:56,788
I should not have been able to free
myself from dwelling on it constantly.

1050
01:14:56,789 --> 01:15:02,056
There is someone here who's been shouting
and talking like me all the time.

1051
01:15:02,057 --> 01:15:06,531
He thinks he hears voices and words
in the echoes of the corridors.

1052
01:15:06,532 --> 01:15:11,067
Probably because, the nerves of the
ear are diseased and too sensitive.

1053
01:15:11,068 --> 01:15:14,589
And in my case, it was my sight
as well as my hearing.

1054
01:15:14,590 --> 01:15:18,603
Then the shock was such that
it sickened me even to move,

1055
01:15:18,604 --> 01:15:22,414
and nothing would have pleased me more
than never to have woken up again.

1056
01:15:22,415 --> 01:15:28,470
I find it queer that I saw it like this
from between the iron bars of a cell.

1057
01:15:28,871 --> 01:15:32,665
When a man comes out of prison,
after having been there a long time,

1058
01:15:32,666 --> 01:15:35,591
there would be moments when
he will miss his prison,

1059
01:15:35,592 --> 01:15:39,313
because he finds himself at a loss
now that he is at liberty;

1060
01:15:39,314 --> 01:15:43,349
so called I suppose because the
grinding daily task of earning a living,

1061
01:15:43,350 --> 01:15:46,639
hardly leaves any liberty at all.

1062
01:15:46,640 --> 01:15:51,614
I am now trying to recover like a man
who meant to commit suicide,

1063
01:15:51,615 --> 01:15:56,230
and finding the water too cold,
tries to regain the bank.

1064
01:15:56,731 --> 01:16:01,894
I feel the desire to renew myself
and to try to apologise for the fact,

1065
01:16:01,895 --> 01:16:05,774
that my pictures are, after all,
almost a cry of anguish.

1066
01:16:05,775 --> 01:16:10,694
Although in the rustic sunflower,
they may symbolise gratitude.

1067
01:16:10,695 --> 01:16:15,974
I have drawn that Pieta by Delacroix
without taking a single measurement.

1068
01:16:15,975 --> 01:16:20,503
And yet, there are those four hands
and arms in the foreground of it,

1069
01:16:20,504 --> 01:16:24,795
gestures and postures not exactly
easy or simple.

1070
01:16:24,796 --> 01:16:29,417
I know well that healing comes
if one is brave from within,

1071
01:16:29,422 --> 01:16:33,031
through profound resignation to
suffering and death;

1072
01:16:33,032 --> 01:16:37,815
through the surrender of your own
will and of your self love.

1073
01:16:37,816 --> 01:16:40,706
But it is of no use to me.

1074
01:16:40,707 --> 01:16:46,541
I love to paint, to see people
and things everywhere

1075
01:16:46,542 --> 01:16:53,626
that makes our life artificial,
if you like.

1076
01:16:56,727 --> 01:17:01,214
At present, this horror of life
is less acute.

1077
01:17:01,215 --> 01:17:06,136
But, I have no will, hardly any
desire or none at all;

1078
01:17:06,137 --> 01:17:10,707
and hardly any wish for anything
belonging to ordinary life;

1079
01:17:10,708 --> 01:17:13,966
almost no desire to see my friends,

1080
01:17:13,967 --> 01:17:16,868
although I keep thinking about them.

1081
01:17:17,694 --> 01:17:22,952
I shall count myself very happy if I can
manage to work enough to earn my living.

1082
01:17:22,953 --> 01:17:26,841
For it worries me a lot when I think
I've done so many pictures and drawings

1083
01:17:26,842 --> 01:17:29,763
without ever selling one.

1084
01:17:34,342 --> 01:17:37,050
I'm always filled with remorse

1085
01:17:37,051 --> 01:17:39,985
terribly so, when I think of my work
that is so little in harmony

1086
01:17:39,986 --> 01:17:42,264
with what I would have liked to do.

1087
01:17:42,265 --> 01:17:45,812
If in some month or other,
it should be too difficult

1088
01:17:45,813 --> 01:17:50,433
to send me paint and canvas etc,
then do not send them.

1089
01:17:50,434 --> 01:17:56,730
For believe me, it is better to live
than to work at art in the abstract.

1090
01:18:21,289 --> 01:18:26,795
Yesterday, I began to work again on
a thing that I see from my window.

1091
01:18:26,796 --> 01:18:33,231
A reaper. The study is all yellow,
terribly thickly painted.

1092
01:18:33,232 --> 01:18:37,268
But the subject was fine and simple.

1093
01:18:37,269 --> 01:18:41,591
For I see in this reaper a vague figure
fighting like a devil

1094
01:18:41,592 --> 01:18:45,139
in the midst of the heat to get
to the end of his task.

1095
01:18:45,140 --> 01:18:48,360
I see in him the image of death,

1096
01:18:48,361 --> 01:18:54,142
in a sense, that humanity might be
the wheat he is reaping.

1097
01:18:54,543 --> 01:18:57,117
But, there is nothing sad
in this death.

1098
01:18:57,118 --> 01:19:01,059
It goes its way in broad daylight
with a sun flooding everything

1099
01:19:01,060 --> 01:19:03,807
with a light of pure gold.

1100
01:19:03,808 --> 01:19:07,831
I think it will be one of those
you keep at home.

1101
01:19:07,832 --> 01:19:12,634
It is an image of death as the
great book of nature speaks of it.

1102
01:19:12,635 --> 01:19:16,981
But, what I have thought
is the almost smiling.

1103
01:19:16,982 --> 01:19:20,639
It is all yellow, except
a line of violet hills.

1104
01:19:20,640 --> 01:19:23,695
A pale, fair yellow.

1105
01:19:24,596 --> 01:19:27,566
I am sending you my own portrait.

1106
01:19:27,577 --> 01:19:30,765
You must look at it for some time.

1107
01:19:30,766 --> 01:19:35,442
You will see, I hope, that my face
is much calmer.

1108
01:19:36,143 --> 01:19:40,551
Though, it seems to me that my look
is vaguer than before.

1109
01:19:40,952 --> 01:19:43,630
I have tried to make it simple.

1110
01:19:46,084 --> 01:19:49,191
The olives with a white cloud
and a background of mountains,

1111
01:19:49,192 --> 01:19:51,958
as well as the moonrise
and the night effect,

1112
01:19:51,959 --> 01:19:55,863
are exaggerations from the
point of view of arrangement.

1113
01:19:55,864 --> 01:19:58,943
Their lines are warped as in old wood.

1114
01:19:58,944 --> 01:20:01,974
The olives are more in character
as in the other study.

1115
01:20:01,975 --> 01:20:05,951
And I've tried to express the time of day
when you see the green rose beetles

1116
01:20:05,952 --> 01:20:09,399
and the cicadas flying about
in the heat.

1117
01:20:11,099 --> 01:20:14,030
Unfortunately, there are
no vineyards here.

1118
01:20:14,031 --> 01:20:17,538
But for that, I should have done
nothing else this autumn.

1119
01:20:18,039 --> 01:20:22,029
On the other hand, the olive trees
are very characteristic,

1120
01:20:22,030 --> 01:20:25,135
and I am struggling to catch them.

1121
01:20:25,636 --> 01:20:30,839
They are old silver; sometimes
with more blue in them,

1122
01:20:30,840 --> 01:20:35,359
sometimes greenish, bronzed,
fading white, above a soil

1123
01:20:35,394 --> 01:20:41,845
which is yellow, pink, violet-tinted
or orange, to dull red ochre.

1124
01:20:41,846 --> 01:20:47,026
Very difficult though. Very difficult.

1125
01:20:47,427 --> 01:20:49,987
But that suits me,

1126
01:20:49,988 --> 01:20:53,768
and induces me to work wholly
in gold or silver.

1127
01:20:53,769 --> 01:20:57,571
And, perhaps, one day I shall do
a personal impression of them,

1128
01:20:57,572 --> 01:21:00,976
like what the sunflowers were
for the yellow.

1129
01:21:02,567 --> 01:21:06,582
Altogether, it is difficult to leave a
country before you have done something

1130
01:21:06,583 --> 01:21:10,334
to prove that you have felt and loved it.

1131
01:21:14,059 --> 01:21:18,240
For the moment, I am working on a picture
of a path between the mountains

1132
01:21:18,241 --> 01:21:21,728
and a little brook forcing its way
between the stones.

1133
01:21:21,729 --> 01:21:25,503
The rocks are of a plain
violet-gray or pink,

1134
01:21:25,504 --> 01:21:30,690
with, here and there, palm bushes
in a kind of broom.

1135
01:21:30,691 --> 01:21:32,927
It has all kinds of colours.

1136
01:21:32,928 --> 01:21:38,282
And the brook in the foreground,
white and foaming like soap suds;

1137
01:21:38,283 --> 01:21:42,271
and farther on, reflecting
the blue sky.

1138
01:21:44,403 --> 01:21:47,077
It is basically true,
that a painter as a man,

1139
01:21:47,078 --> 01:21:50,005
is too absorbed in what his eyes see,

1140
01:21:50,006 --> 01:21:54,647
and is not sufficiently master of
the rest of his life.

1141
01:21:59,410 --> 01:22:05,789
Please, ask Mr Aurier not to write
anymore articles on my painting.

1142
01:22:05,790 --> 01:22:11,232
Insist upon this, that to begin with,
he is mistaken about me.

1143
01:22:11,233 --> 01:22:16,063
Since I am too overwhelmed with grief
to be able to face publicity,

1144
01:22:21,001 --> 01:22:24,265
sucess is about the worst thing
that can happen.

1145
01:22:24,266 --> 01:22:27,894
I have led too hard a life
to die for it,

1146
01:22:27,895 --> 01:22:30,934
or to lose the power to work.

1147
01:22:35,278 --> 01:22:40,007
My surroundings here, begin to weigh
on me more than I can say.

1148
01:22:41,327 --> 01:22:45,078
My word, I have been patient
for more than a year.

1149
01:22:45,079 --> 01:22:47,482
I need air.

1150
01:22:47,483 --> 01:22:51,312
I feel overwhelmed with
boredom and grief.

1151
01:22:52,688 --> 01:22:56,039
This morning, I saw the country again.

1152
01:22:56,040 --> 01:22:59,474
What things I still could have
done here!

1153
01:22:59,475 --> 01:23:02,922
It would be ungrateful
to curse the Midi.

1154
01:23:04,880 --> 01:23:08,559
I leave it with great grief.

1155
01:23:14,485 --> 01:23:16,727
With a handshaking thought,

1156
01:23:16,728 --> 01:23:21,369
Your Brother, Vincent.

1157
01:24:28,942 --> 01:24:30,615
Dear Theo,

1158
01:24:30,616 --> 01:24:33,058
Auverre is very beautiful.

1159
01:24:33,059 --> 01:24:37,942
Among other things, a lot of old
thatched roofs which are getting rare.

1160
01:24:37,943 --> 01:24:44,107
I've seen Doctor Gachet who gives me the
impression of being rather eccentric.

1161
01:24:44,108 --> 01:24:47,745
But, his experience as a doctor must
keep him balanced enough, to combat

1162
01:24:47,780 --> 01:24:50,953
the nervous trouble from which he
certainly seems to me to be suffering,

1163
01:24:50,954 --> 01:24:53,535
at least as seriously as I.

1164
01:24:53,536 --> 01:24:56,630
But he is older and lost his wife
several years ago.

1165
01:24:56,631 --> 01:24:58,945
But, he is very much the doctor,

1166
01:24:58,946 --> 01:25:02,820
and his profession and faith
still sustain him.

1167
01:25:03,221 --> 01:25:05,836
I am working at his portrait.

1168
01:25:05,837 --> 01:25:11,931
It has the same sentiment as the self-
portrait I did when I left for this place.

1169
01:25:12,332 --> 01:25:18,314
I am completely engrossed by these huge
plains of standing corn backed by hills.

1170
01:25:18,315 --> 01:25:20,626
They are vast as the sea.

1171
01:25:20,627 --> 01:25:25,524
Very delicate yellow, very pale
green and very soft mauve.

1172
01:25:25,925 --> 01:25:31,963
Part of the land is under cultivation,
dotted with flowering potato plants.

1173
01:25:31,964 --> 01:25:36,438
The sky is blue, with white,
pink and violet tints.

1174
01:25:39,687 --> 01:25:43,323
I believe I am capable
of painting the scene.

1175
01:26:24,910 --> 01:26:27,997
I think we must not count on
Doctor Gachet at all.

1176
01:26:27,998 --> 01:26:33,934
Firstly, he is sicker than I am,
I think; or shall we say, just as much.

1177
01:26:33,935 --> 01:26:37,476
Now, when a blind man leads
another blind man,

1178
01:26:37,477 --> 01:26:40,771
then they both fall into the ditch.

1179
01:26:45,825 --> 01:26:48,864
It is difficult to know oneself.

1180
01:26:48,865 --> 01:26:52,347
But, it isn't easy either
to paint oneself.

1181
01:26:52,748 --> 01:26:59,944
I should like to have a soul less unquiet
than mine, which is foundering.

1182
01:27:01,682 --> 01:27:04,486
I feel exhausted.

1183
01:27:04,487 --> 01:27:07,116
So much for me.

1184
01:27:07,417 --> 01:27:13,127
I feel this is the lot which I accept
and which will not change.

1185
01:27:13,128 --> 01:27:16,403
And the prospects grow darker.

1186
01:27:16,704 --> 01:27:19,774
I see no happy future at all.

1187
01:27:20,375 --> 01:27:23,964
I generally try to be very cheerful.

1188
01:27:24,965 --> 01:27:28,898
But my life is also threatened
at the very root.

1189
01:27:29,699 --> 01:27:33,201
And my steps are wavering.

1190
01:27:35,347 --> 01:27:38,564
Once back here, I set to work again,

1191
01:27:38,565 --> 01:27:41,984
though the brush almost slipped
from my fingers.

1192
01:27:41,985 --> 01:27:49,657
But knowing exactly what I wanted, I've
painted three more big canvases since.

1193
01:27:49,658 --> 01:27:54,547
They are vast fields of wheat
under troubled skies.

1194
01:27:54,548 --> 01:27:59,620
And I didn't need to go out of my way
to try to express sadness,

1195
01:27:59,621 --> 01:28:02,640
and extreme loneliness.

1196
01:28:03,441 --> 01:28:09,527
Though the truth is, we can only
make our pictures speak.

1197
01:28:10,528 --> 01:28:13,864
But yet, my dear brother,

1198
01:28:13,865 --> 01:28:16,865
there is this that I have
always told you,

1199
01:28:16,866 --> 01:28:19,666
and I repeat it once more
with all the earnestness

1200
01:28:19,667 --> 01:28:21,950
that can be expressed by
the effort of a mind

1201
01:28:21,951 --> 01:28:25,794
diligently fixed on trying to do
as well as possible.

1202
01:28:26,095 --> 01:28:29,841
I tell you again, that I shall
always consider you

1203
01:28:29,842 --> 01:28:33,636
to be something more than
a simple dealer in paintings;

1204
01:28:33,637 --> 01:28:36,636
that, through my mediation,
you have your part

1205
01:28:36,637 --> 01:28:39,703
in the actual production
of some canvases;

1206
01:28:39,704 --> 01:28:44,527
which will retain their calm,
even in the catastrophe.

1207
01:28:45,751 --> 01:28:48,698
For this is what we have got to.

1208
01:28:50,382 --> 01:28:54,383
This is all, or at least, the main thing
that I have to tell you

1209
01:28:54,384 --> 01:28:58,354
at a moment of comparative crisis.

1210
01:28:59,654 --> 01:29:03,183
My own work - I am risking
my life for it.

1211
01:29:03,184 --> 01:29:06,291
And, my reason is half-founded
because of it.

1212
01:29:06,292 --> 01:29:08,330
That's all right.

1213
01:29:08,331 --> 01:29:12,474
But you are not among
the dealers in man,

1214
01:29:12,475 --> 01:29:16,223
and you can still choose your side,

1215
01:29:16,224 --> 01:29:19,120
acting with humanity.

1216
01:29:21,381 --> 01:29:24,751
But, what is the use?

1217
01:30:52,752 --> 01:30:55,752
Wish I knew it!